You like titties?
Let’s have some fun!
Summer 2005.
MAY DAY! MAY DAY!
Incoming set from @opahl —the wonderful Bright Ribbons .
This set pays homage to my favorite color CLASH: pink and green.
If you wanna evoke Sex Pistols, go pink and green.
But this shoot really has a nice ‘80s neon vibe to it.
It is VIBRANT.
It caught my eye.
In economics, an SG set is a good.
[as opposed to a bad]
Customers (members) tip the sets they like the most.
While our beloved SG models are most certainly NOT products (they are, of course, beautifully-sentient beings), their sets ARE products.
Joe Biden does not give you a free pass to Suicide Girls.
You have to shell out some dough to get access to these wonderful sets.
As such, our wonderful models are met with a challenge: how can they MAXIMIZE their amount of tips?
One way, of course, is catching the customer’s eye.
In that something different will catch each person’s eye, we are met with another challenge: how can a model PROBABLY catch the eyes of MOST CUSTOMERS?
I think Opahl’s set does a good job at answering that conundrum.
Bright colors catch eyes.
It is but one “trick”.
If EVERY model used that trick on EVERY set, it would cease to be eye-catching (because we would be desensitized to this stratagem’s charms).
Having fun yet?
Let’s get back to The Body .
In this set, we are met with a quintessential Suicide Girl: @suki .
Pale.
Glasses.
Black hair.
CONTRAST (between hair and skin).
And gorgeous fucking tits.
When I dream of Suicide Girls, I dream of absolute STARS like Suki.
This set checks many, many boxes for me.
I promised tits, and tits you shall have.
Exhibit C: Video Taped starring @dujour .
Areolas don’t get enough love.
This lady has big silver-dollar-pancake areolas.
Tremendous!
Your cup shall overfloweth with boobs galore.
Witness @tash in The Hiding Room .
Third-from-last shot is like a Modigliani.
Or an Henri Rousseau.
Or Manet’s [sic] Olympia.
Such an iconic pose by Tash.
And it proves that (as the Situationists wrote) “the world turns on the tips of tits”.
True dat, Guy!
INTERESTING INK ALERT:
Check out @medeia in Broken Hearted .
Stars around the heart only.
This is a very striking look.
It certainly got my attention.
I dig it!
Speaking of striking, check out the amazing homage to Hitchcock that @james does in Psycho .
Really well-done!!
How about A Quick Change .
This lady @georgie is ALL WOMAN.
Wow.
Such a classy shoot.
Makes me want to drink espresso and think of artful ways to off myself.
But no one will be offing anyone once they see the wonder of Green Cashmere .
Yes, I am convinced that boobs can solve all the world’s problems.
And I present @lydia as a prime example.
Fantastic voluptuousness from Lydia!!
But our hearts and minds need ART too.
And for this we come to the photography of @missy and the bang-up job she did with @eva on Pin Up Thug .
This set SIZZLES.
It’s so hot that it’s icy.
What a dazzling grasp on exposure.
Seriously, Taschen needs to be knocking on Missy’s door (if they haven’t already).
But in the quest for breasts, there must be moments where we fall to our knees and “Hail!” truly magnificent mammaries.
Case in point: The Red Booth starring @eliska .
These are the kind of knockers that could concuss you were they to hit you upside the head.
Speaking of “lovely sorts of death”…
But let’s keep this boob train moving.
Next we come to The Broken Train starring @tristan .
This is a lovely set which also features some interesting soot on her bum.
Ass men: I am keeping you in mind.
We’re just not to the “ass era” yet.
But it will begin to reveal itself as cultural tastes changed over these past 20 years.
But since I know you are antsy, check out @london in White Glove .
That penultimate shot is quite novel.
And keep that theme in mind because we shall be revisiting it in variation shortly.
Ok, back to the titty train.
How’s about @venla on June 7, 2005 in The Ice Queen ?
I’d say this is a pretty-damned significant set.
I certainly enjoyed it!
But then prepare to have your heart stolen by @kitten as she is In Bloom .
Really lovely work here!
This next set knocked my socks off pretty good.
Teachers Pet featuring @morticia .
Damn, is she looking good here!
I love the braids!!
But we cannot ignore the first real model-photographer auteur of SG.
That’s right, it’s none other than @synnove who is Full of Sheet .
Wacka wacka!!
I love that title.
Synnove gets into some new poses in this one.
She looks like she’s having fun.
And so we have fun.
Fun is being had.
Speaking of…
There’s a multi-girl set from this era that really rolls my dough!
I am speaking, of course, about @toy and @yuki in The Pizza Cook Off .
Great use of the rolling pin!!!
But seriously, this set is so well-shot and WELL-LIT (lighting is such an underrated element of GREAT sets).
The images are sharp and clear and FUN.
And there is, despite there being two models, not just a jumble of body parts in every frame.
I like a jumble of body parts just as much as the next schlub, but the thoughtful composition of the images here has an almost Japanese quality to it.
…even though they are ostensibly cooking pizza!
Ok, ass men (and ass women)—say thank you to @thursday for her great shot (three from the end) here in Mad Scientist .
An interesting twist on that middle finger we saw earlier.
Plus, Thursday’s final shot in this set ain’t half bad either.
I’m not a butt man, but I know when to offer tribute.
Ok, back to my specialty (racks)…and this time with some tomes to boot.
Book Corner featuring @jezabel is a nerd’s wet dream.
I need a towel!
Truly, this is a super-sexy set by Jezabel!
Before you take off with that towel, stick around for Shampoos featuring @dis .
My Lord, this gal is bee-utiful!!!
Another beauty who was KILLING IT in these days was @ravenisis .
Gaze upon Her Little Picnic .
What a cutie patootie!!
Some beautiful, muted, wine-colored areolas en plein air.
Somebody call Manet again.
He’s gonna wanna see this.
Yo, Édouard!
I can’t think of a better metaphor for breasts than Balls of Light .
So thank you @sinope for expanding my metaphor arsenal while also dropping a MAGNIFICENT set.
This is truly the stuff of which dreams are made.
Amazing, cosmic-retro photography.
And a once-in-a-lifetime model.
Sinope is a GODDESS in this set.
But @missy was hot on her tail with some ALL-WORLD photography.
Witness the delicate light and shadow of A Shady Day starring (and I mean STARRING) @kali .
Photography doesn’t get any better than this.
Has Taschen knocked yet?
When is the @missy MoMA retrospective?
Perhaps at the Guggenheim??
But this model, Kali, is SO FUCKING PRETTY!!!
If there’s an Austin Powers 4, Kali should be the Powers girl.
Watch out, Elizabeth Hurley!
Kali’s comin’ to GETCHA!!
But truly, mine friends, if thou dost not shed but a tear for A Shady Day, then I cans’t not know whither is wrong with thee.
You know, some models drop a set (bam!) or two (bam bam!!) and then they drift away from the SG sisterhood.
But we shall still honor their work.
My Little Pony features the UNDENIABLE titties of silver-screen-visaged @princess .
Hey, it says she’s single and likes Tim Burton.
[that might be a little outdated]
I wonder, “Where is Princess now?”
THAT is the question.
18 years later.
Hell, she might be twice as old as she was then.
It says she’s 39?!?
Get the fuck outta here!!!
Maybe 39 NOW…
So she woulda been 21 then.
Makes sense.
Well, wherever she is…
I wonder what she’s doing?
She was a medical student???
Is she Dr. Princess these days?
I would totally relocate states to have her be my GP.
Just sayin’.
Ladies and gentlemen, this piece is NOWHERE NEAR OVER.
Let’s march on.
In The Heels sees @aria looking mighty fine!
Sincerest compliments on the use of the peacock feathers!!
An inspired idea!!!
Ok, next we come to the set that I THINK was the strongest set in the summer of 2005: Heart by @julie .
You might say, “what’s so special about it?”
Well, dear friend, to my eyes it has a sort of WEIGHT to it.
It FEELS like a very significant set.
After all these years, it is still exploding with warm, honeyed sexuality.
Step into this honeycomb and see what you think.
HOT on Julie’s heels was the GORGEOUS @antimony and her set A Flair .
Wow, this gal is really special!
This set is a 180 from Heart.
In A Flair, we get bright, clear, porcelain images.
Two approaches—two amazing models.
But the hits kept on coming with @magenta in The Dark Wings .
Yet ANOTHER spectacular shoot!
July was a hot month at SG in 2005.
As I go through these archives, I like almost every set.
Another winner is Sedia di Barbiere by @erzsebet .
I mean…
WHAT A FUCKING BABE!!!
It’s almost harder to find a BAD set in this era of Suicide Girls than to find pure gold.
Shed shows off another great model: @rayna .
The photography is fairly-simple and unassuming.
And that’s fine.
Because the model is so lovely!
But now we come to another GREAT set: The Haunting by @lillithvain .
Ugh…
What an AMAZING piece of work.
This lady should be in the USO.
Troops would go nuts for her!!!
Speaking of, how about Stripes and Bubbles forever???
This set by @syndel features a great color scheme and great tits.
What more could you ask for?
If you are looking for CLASSY, look no further than the exceedingly-lovely Miss @bettina .
Peruse her nautical-themed set Bye Bye Baby .
Kate Winslet and James Cameron would be jealous of this one!
[not to mention Jean Vigo]
For the indie rockers (me me!!), we have A Mustang caressed by the lovely @blythe .
Wow.
This gal is smokin’-hot!!
You gotta check this out.
Anyone need a bit of hairy bush?
Feast thine eyes on the adorable @ink as she tries going In Zebra .
I think the lines suit her and I adore the black brassiere!!
Now for one of the most extraordinary sets I’ve ever seen.
Getting a bit Iggy Pop and GG Allin is the bad bitch @bella who puts out a lit cigarette on her tongue (!) in the final shot of So Jilted .
Ok, maybe it was, or maybe it wasn’t lit, but it’s still bad-ass.
THIS is the kind of stuff you would see on SG in 2001.
AND I FUCKING LOVE IT.
Taking risks.
Not playing it safe.
That is rock and roll.
That is punk rock.
That is the spirit which birthed Suicide Girls.
Alright, two more.
The first is an amazing set called The Candy Raver by @xip .
Tremendous breasts here.
And finally, we end with the serpentine posing of @rapture in her brooding set Night Call .
How about those last six slithering shots???
Come for the boobs.
Stay for the art.
—Pauly Deathwish
