As we in the Northern Hemisphere enjoy (endure) the summer of 2023, it’s worth looking back to the summer of 2004 to see what the girls of SG we up to during those hot early days.
These sets may be “old”, but they are shot-through with GOLD.
On July 10, @albertine released a self-shot MASTERPIECE entitled Antique Dress .
Indeed, for awhile in July of 2004, it seemed that Suicide Girls might take on a naturalistic photography akin to the film movement known as Dogme 95.
Albertine’s set has some similarity to Dogme adherent Lars von Trier’s Melancholia, but perhaps even more simpatico with Harmony Korine’s Julien Donkey-Boy.
Which is to say that Antique Dress is such an artful creation.
Amazing breasts.
Amazing close-ups.
Inspired color-timing.
An evocative color palette.
And the amazing thing is that this was SELF-SHOT!
So we come to, perhaps, the first auteur in SG’s history: a model who was as talented a photographer as she was beautiful.
But I can’t spend this whole chapter on one set.
So we move on to the well-documented talents of @lennon and her EXCELLENT set Casual .
This is a pair of tits you gotta see.
Indeed, I’ve never seen the beautiful Lennon looking better in one of her sets than here.
…and all her work is magnificent!
We soon come to another very naturalistic set: Hammock by @tyler .
Again, no bells and whistles with this one.
And like Albertine’s muted-color masterpiece Antique Dress, there is a focus here on simplicity and purity.
I love it.
And what a divine model.
But the barre raised by Albertine would indeed soon be met—and by none other than one of my favorite models: the mysterious @al .
Lavender is one of the best sets I’ve ever seen on SG.
It’s emo.
It’s dark.
Moody…
Like Baudelaire.
Indeed, there is even an op art aspect to it.
At first it’s hard to tell what we’re looking at.
What is that big stack of blue boxes that Al is holding?
A miniature Donald Judd???
Then we realize what it is.
On our little, cheap, pre-pandemic phones.
I’m not sure if that’s a tattoo, but one thing is for sure: Al has been kissed by black lips.
Les Fleurs du mal.
Divine.
We also notice a bit of scarification in this Huysman-esque masterwork.
[This particular form of body mod will soon become something of a trend on SG]
Put simply, Al is a magnificent creature.
What a COUP!
Next we come to ANOTHER stellar set—In the Records by @ilsa .
This trope (a girl and her records) has since been done ad nauseam on SG, but when it’s done RIGHT, it is FIRE!!!
And seeing as how Suicide Girls is a Pacific Northwest concern, Ilsa honed in on just the band to get record geeks soiling their shorts: The Sonics.
This set would have made Elmer Batters proud.
The legs in this one are mighty artful.
And there is a particular shot with a shaved cooch that is really the pinnacle of its arc.
Outstanding work by Ilsa!!
And we love this creativity.
If not records, then how about food?
Well, I’m glad you asked.
Because @evillyn was Making Tarts.
Putting aside the double entendre for a moment, this set really peaks with the shot of whipped cream on Evillyn’s lips (beneath her classic-blue eye shadow).
But Marcel Duchamp is calling and he wants to play chess.
And, besides, do we have any sets he might like?
‘Deed we do.
Urinal by @sheena shows off a pair of jugs that would have made Eve Babitz jealous.
Need some sacrilege to get you over the mid-week hump?
Leave it to @morticia and her set Nun.
This set hits all the right gothy notes.
Bright whites.
Brooding blacks.
Mascara.
Boobs.
But our next model proves that it really pays to know your history (in this case, the history of Bettie Page).
Pin Up Pin Down is a postmodern amalgam—as if Bettie had invaded the comic-strip mind of Roy Lichtenstein—and the aspect that really sells it is the POSING.
Kudos to its model, @smurf .
Ms. Page would have loved this!
Hell, she was still alive when this set came out…
How about some interstellar cosplay?
The Smashing Pumpkins and J. Spaceman were doubtless thrilled when @tawnya dropped Space Girl.
“Ground control to Maj. Tawnya…”
It doesn’t hurt that this space babe has boobs like two dream moons.
Spectacular work!
But once again we come to the talents of @missy .
They are undeniable.
I have previously compared her to Sam Phillips of Sun Records—capturing the talents of Elvis (@mary) and Jerry Lee (@bettina)—because Missy (like these million-dollar models) was here from the beginning.
But Missy is also the Russ Meyer of SG.
What do I mean by that?
If you only know Russ Meyer’s “hit” (his only major studio film) Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, then you are missing out.
Because, even though that film is a masterpiece, it doesn’t give you the full breadth of Meyer’s artistry.
Take a film like Mondo Topless.
There we get more at the meat of the pithy Meyer.
What the fuck am I talking about?
Well, to wit: Russ Meyer was a combat photographer in WWII.
And, as such, he was GRADED on things like coverage.
Coverage.
You wanna have a shot from every angle.
You wanna have plenty to choose from when you get to the cutting room.
But you gotta work fast.
Because there is a fucking war going on.
Stay in this spot too long (trying to get “the perfect shot”) and you might just get an artillery shell through your guts.
But then again, you gotta be crazy.
Photo this, photo that.
Seven days a week.
War don’t take no weekends off.
And starting a small business is LIKE A WAR.
A war for survival.
Always clamoring at the door are Playboy and Penthouse and Hustler and Maxim.
And they wanna put Suicide Girls outta business.
Missy was the the war photographer of the early days.
And her ART got better and better BECAUSE SHE USED IT EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Need proof?
Check out Clockwork featuring @annie .
This set is damn-near perfect.
Conception.
Execution.
Creativity.
Planning.
Inspiration.
Improvisation.
Takeaways:
A. Always get a good closeup to break up the monotony of wide shots
B. If possible, incorporate milk
Alright, we love Missy.
But we got two more sets to mention from July-August of 2004.
First is Skinart by @ink .
Here is more Warhol/Lichtenstein magic.
And this model…
WHOA!!!
Not just another pretty face.
Or maybe so.
But most certainly a VERY pretty face.
This is really a unique, creative set.
And it executed on a brilliant PLAN.
Each photo accrues more “tattoos”.
Are they real?
No.
They are drawn-on.
“But aren’t all tattoos drawn-on?”
They’re not permanent.
This beautiful gal becomes a dry-erase board—and this set is a grand slam.
But we are going to end with a photo spread as good as anything else in this article.
The third masterpiece of this two-month span was Heist by the aforementioned Killer herself: @bettina .
If the photo credit read “Alfred Hitchcock”, I would believe it.
Although more Bonnie and Clyde than Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly, the quality of these shots is most certainly like Rear Window or North by Northwest…or even Vertigo.
Bettina is the moll in a Howard Hawks film noir.
The big sleep.
Or a Nicholas Ray affair starring Bogart.
In a lonely place.
Peering out from the ubiquitous blinds.
Bogey has a quart of pretty good rye in his pocket.
And it’s raining.
And he’s gotta kill a few hours staking out the “rare books” shop across the street.
Bettina comes on like Dorothy Malone.
Taking her glasses off.
Taking EVERYTHING off.
Bettina turns in a CINEMATIC masterpiece here.
A classic-Hollywood flip book.
She tells a story.
A beginning, a middle, and an end.
[not necessarily in that order]
If you are into vintage fashion, this set is the immaculate attention-to-detail for which you have been waiting.
But just wait until autumn 2004 came blasting in the door with the cool spreads of Suicide Girls both familiar and nubile.
Until next chapter, radio listeners.
—Pauly Deathwish
