and i come home in the begining of the wee hours of rhe morning and see a movie called el diablo on cable. this sends me back to a time when we went to that italian place on 87th st where i got the gnocci with the diablo sauce and she wore the short skirt with the garters and no panties cause it was my turn to call all the shots for the day. we had a system, short lived as at was where one of us got complete control over the other for a day. those were the good times, the perfect times. the memories of these times make me think that no matter what we could still end up together. thoughts of these times make me sigh, yet my eyes fill with tears, even if they don't actually fall. the sad reality is that she invited me to a party at her place in a few weeks.........i put in the periods cause thats how the "invite" sounded. to quote pee wee she had a big but to go with it. the big but is that her boyfriend will be there. i am just not man enough to deal with that. i would like to think that i am, but i know that i am not. going would be catastrophic for me for sure and for them most likely. i guess that despite it being nearly two years since it ended, it has only been recently that i have fully realized that it is over, forever, for real. and fuck me it hurts
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I thought it was an eBay auction at first, and I couldn't figure out why you'd drive almost nine hours round-trip on one of the most boring highways in America instead of paying for shipping. Then I realized you're unemployed and have nothing but time and chalked it up to "A Weird Justin Escapade".
I drove to St. Louis for Fourth of July on a whim back in 1996. (That was the trip that caused me to break down in Hammond. I think I told you the story of getting stuck at the Shell on Indianapolis Ave for eight hours).
Have fun!