A dichotomy in sheep's clothing. A messiahnic complex. I hate humanity and yet I desire to help it overcome its insignificant differences. Whom the gods would destroy they must first drive mad, and they're doing a pretty good job of that. Good thing I've aligned myself with Eris, madness is to be expected, so giant middle finger to all you other cosmic forces. Kill me and she'll choose another, we will never go away. Nyah nayh nyah-nyah nyah!!! The secret name of Eris is INFORMATION.
Tomorrow I hav a CT scan to look at my lungs and see if I will die by the time I'm forty. Of course, I won't get the results back for ages, and I don't know if the army will doctor them up so they don't hav to worry about paying me anything. All I know is that my biological grandmother died by 43 and my biological father died by 42, so I hav now exceeded half my projected life-span at the age of 24. I don't want kids. I will be the last to carry this curse.
And speaking of curses, I was blessed with this amazing ability to write. Fiction, nonfiction, essays, poetry, whatever. I understand the language and its uses. I could put this to good use. I could be successful. I could be famous. My primal side rejects that. At a base level, I understand that war and hatred is the only thing that has ever come from intellectualism. Instinctually I reject my intellectualism. Isn't that supposed to be the other way around? In the animal world I think I would hav caused a lot of trouble and been remembered for a lifespan or two.
Which brings me to another point: what is the difference between humans and animals? I thought about it for a while, and determined that the super-ego may possibly be the only thing that distinguishes humans from any other animal on the planet. Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm not wrong, what does that say about us? What does it say about the direction we're headed in?
Tomorrow I hav a CT scan to look at my lungs and see if I will die by the time I'm forty. Of course, I won't get the results back for ages, and I don't know if the army will doctor them up so they don't hav to worry about paying me anything. All I know is that my biological grandmother died by 43 and my biological father died by 42, so I hav now exceeded half my projected life-span at the age of 24. I don't want kids. I will be the last to carry this curse.
And speaking of curses, I was blessed with this amazing ability to write. Fiction, nonfiction, essays, poetry, whatever. I understand the language and its uses. I could put this to good use. I could be successful. I could be famous. My primal side rejects that. At a base level, I understand that war and hatred is the only thing that has ever come from intellectualism. Instinctually I reject my intellectualism. Isn't that supposed to be the other way around? In the animal world I think I would hav caused a lot of trouble and been remembered for a lifespan or two.
Which brings me to another point: what is the difference between humans and animals? I thought about it for a while, and determined that the super-ego may possibly be the only thing that distinguishes humans from any other animal on the planet. Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm not wrong, what does that say about us? What does it say about the direction we're headed in?