I did it.
Karaoke. I draged my butch lesbian friend Courtney and the Eirik I speak of so often. I did "this charming man" and a killer drunk version of "jolene".
We danced to .....fuck. i cant remember the song. but we danced. My arms around his neck. my head on his shoulder. We danced.
4 frozen margaritas later, he walked outside. Courtney, being smart as a whip, excused herself to somewhere in the middle of the parking lot. Wayne and I talked. I dont know what I said but he responded "I'm vulerable. The last time I rushed into anything it broke." I say "ok" as a way to gather my thoughts.
I walk with him to his car. I tell him "you drive me nuts". He responds "do i?"
"yes. I really do like you. a lot. a whole lot"
"I like you too"
we pause.
"we should talk about this sober" he suggests. He asks me to call him later tonight.
he shuts his door. I drive courtney home. 2 blocks from her place. Phone rings
"I was hoping its you" I answer.
He tells me he made it home ok. A burrito from taco cabana makes it all ok. I ask him to hold for a second while I thank Courtney for coming out with me and letting me be girly in all the wrong ways. She hugs and I tell her I love her.
I go back to the phone, set the car in park and turn the engine off.
He tells me he's scummy and he's scared and he wants to know we're friends before we look to anything further and that the fact I've dated THAT blues musician here in town is kinda weird
I tell him that it was years ago and that should have nothing to do with us now and that I think of him often and I didnt want him to NOT know my heart was his. I apologise for being a coward for the last 4 weeks
He tells me he knows that I am fond of him. That its obvious. He says he is fond of me too but he doesn't want it to get messed up. I tell him "ok" and we talk about how to get out of the jury summons he's received in the mail.
20 minutes pass and he tells me to get home safe. I tell him I'll call him later.
I pull in front of my house. I call. He's in bed. He tells me "good night, sweetheart"
I feel like I've cut my chest open but have nothing to show for it except a $35 bar tab.
Karaoke. I draged my butch lesbian friend Courtney and the Eirik I speak of so often. I did "this charming man" and a killer drunk version of "jolene".
We danced to .....fuck. i cant remember the song. but we danced. My arms around his neck. my head on his shoulder. We danced.
4 frozen margaritas later, he walked outside. Courtney, being smart as a whip, excused herself to somewhere in the middle of the parking lot. Wayne and I talked. I dont know what I said but he responded "I'm vulerable. The last time I rushed into anything it broke." I say "ok" as a way to gather my thoughts.
I walk with him to his car. I tell him "you drive me nuts". He responds "do i?"
"yes. I really do like you. a lot. a whole lot"
"I like you too"
we pause.
"we should talk about this sober" he suggests. He asks me to call him later tonight.
he shuts his door. I drive courtney home. 2 blocks from her place. Phone rings
"I was hoping its you" I answer.
He tells me he made it home ok. A burrito from taco cabana makes it all ok. I ask him to hold for a second while I thank Courtney for coming out with me and letting me be girly in all the wrong ways. She hugs and I tell her I love her.
I go back to the phone, set the car in park and turn the engine off.
He tells me he's scummy and he's scared and he wants to know we're friends before we look to anything further and that the fact I've dated THAT blues musician here in town is kinda weird
I tell him that it was years ago and that should have nothing to do with us now and that I think of him often and I didnt want him to NOT know my heart was his. I apologise for being a coward for the last 4 weeks
He tells me he knows that I am fond of him. That its obvious. He says he is fond of me too but he doesn't want it to get messed up. I tell him "ok" and we talk about how to get out of the jury summons he's received in the mail.
20 minutes pass and he tells me to get home safe. I tell him I'll call him later.
I pull in front of my house. I call. He's in bed. He tells me "good night, sweetheart"
I feel like I've cut my chest open but have nothing to show for it except a $35 bar tab.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
While I love a guy who's in touch with himself enough to put words together like, "I'm vulnerable."
And while I respect their not wanting to screw things up...(i feel the same way)
There's GOT to be a way to move forward...if you figure it out, will you let me know?!
(i'm in the same prediciment right now)
I bet yours will have a better ending than mine did!