the holidays make me wish I was in some kind of substantial relationship. I would like that other person there perhaps I crutch I don't someone I can take comfort in. Someone who knows me and I know them it sounds nice in thought anyways. I haven't been able to find the semblence of something like that though.. people are just blood suckers trying to drain me. I'm tired of the girls who are just needy and depressed. I'm fucking depressed but I don't go on and on about how ugly I feel or say how bad others have treated me... I don't fall in love with the first person who even listens to a word I say. God the needy thing is repulsive. I've become a really self reliant person and have a relatively decent ego I do feel bad about myself a lot of the times but I don't project my insecurties to others. I don't say love me love me love me... give give give give I need... I just want to be able to enjoy being with another person. I want to share common interests I want to share laughs I want to share life's retarded moments I want someone you will comfort every now and then. People just seem to lay the guilt trip on me to get me to stay they want me to fix them.. they say otherwise but I know.
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did you have a happy thanksgiving? i cooked a bunch of food. was yummy.