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bluefrog

Albuquerque

Member Since 2004

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Thursday May 20, 2004

May 19, 2004
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BEWARE OF VENT

I need a job that doesn't involve having to be nice to people. Not that I'm not a nice person in general, but being forced to do it all the time is a bit grating. I wait tables for a living. I actually had a manager pull me aside to tell me I wasn't looking happy enough with my tables. It would do me a lot of good if I could have just one day a month where I could tell the guests what I really want to say. If you're coming in with less the 15 mins until the restraunt closes, expect some sort of foreign substance in your food. It may sound callous, but if you can't afford to tip, don't go out. I make two freaking dollars an hour. The next person to leave me two dollars on a fifty dollar tab for no reason, just let it be known that somehow, karma is going to get you. If you've paid, go away. One of two things are happening when you hang out at your table after you've finished. Either the restraunt is busy, and you're keeping me from getting a new table, or the restraunt is not busy, and you're keeping me from going home.

Alright, anger at work off, I'll move on to anger at relationships. I think true love must be falling in love with someone who actually wants the same things from the relationship that you do. Or at least so close as to not matter. And let this post serve to remind me that, at 28, I have no business dating girls that have teen in their age. Nice to look at, but lacking in depth. Unfortuanetly I am pretty much soley exposed to women a least a few years younger than me. Of those, the ones I'm actually attracted to can't drink legally. And despite the fact that most of us ("us" being servers) are also students, intelligent conversation is well beyond most of my coworkers. I horde the ones that keep me mentally stimulated.

I think the thing that bothers me the most about this last girl (consequently the Jennie from the first post) is that everything about it was little. It was short, she was too young, there were any number of reasons why it shouldn't have ever been significant. But despite all that it gets to me in a way that seems completely out of proportion. I think it has to do with not feeling like it was under my control in any way. I was still stuck in the wonder of a new relationship, and she moved on. And I think if I had caught her in a different mood on a different day we'd still be together. Her emotional base was that inconsistant. Which in it's own way makes me realize I'm better off. I just wish I could pick up on that stuff before my damn heart commits itself.

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