"Why is it that I fall in love with one person and not another? Because I am conditioned. I've got an image, this particular type of person appeals to me, attracts me. So when I meet this person I fall head over heels in love. but falling in love has nothing to do with love at all Is isnt love it is desire.
So what are people talking about when they fall in love first we need calrity of perception one reason we dont see clearly is because of our conditioning our likes and dislikes. "
the above is a passage fom a book I have recently reread . What should I do when I think my conditioning is whacked? My last relationship I couldnt have been more in love, was head over heels, couldnt get enough of the shit my ex kept feeding me. I knew it was a bad relationship but I WAS IN LOVE DAMMIT and thought it would fix everything. It didnt of course.
Now I got a wonderful woman who treats me decently and respects me in every way. What do I want to do now? enhh I tell myself "get rid of her" Why am I like this why cant I be happy with what I got? Why am I uneasy with someone being in love with me? Is my self exteem so shot? Is it is too cognitively dissonant for me to bear?
So my conundrum is should I just hang with my current sweet girlfriend or let her loose. I mean she is attractive, and I like being with her , but something inside me is making me want out.
I am not trusting of this feeling and hence my inclination has been wait and see. Which I am certain was the right choice at the time .Now I am begginning to feel cowardly. I dont think I have been unfaithful to her because I say " I love you too" back when I dont feel it, but I USED to feel it. I am not seeing other people behind her back, or even looking for a new person to be with.
I guess my third choice is to clue her in to my uncertainty about my feelings and see how she takes it. If she is comfortable loving me more than I love her for the time being, then all is good. IF not then I wish her the best life has to give her.
If you've this far then you are probably thinking I overanalyze shittoo much and it is true. Its the reason I majored in psychology.
So what are people talking about when they fall in love first we need calrity of perception one reason we dont see clearly is because of our conditioning our likes and dislikes. "
the above is a passage fom a book I have recently reread . What should I do when I think my conditioning is whacked? My last relationship I couldnt have been more in love, was head over heels, couldnt get enough of the shit my ex kept feeding me. I knew it was a bad relationship but I WAS IN LOVE DAMMIT and thought it would fix everything. It didnt of course.
Now I got a wonderful woman who treats me decently and respects me in every way. What do I want to do now? enhh I tell myself "get rid of her" Why am I like this why cant I be happy with what I got? Why am I uneasy with someone being in love with me? Is my self exteem so shot? Is it is too cognitively dissonant for me to bear?
So my conundrum is should I just hang with my current sweet girlfriend or let her loose. I mean she is attractive, and I like being with her , but something inside me is making me want out.
I am not trusting of this feeling and hence my inclination has been wait and see. Which I am certain was the right choice at the time .Now I am begginning to feel cowardly. I dont think I have been unfaithful to her because I say " I love you too" back when I dont feel it, but I USED to feel it. I am not seeing other people behind her back, or even looking for a new person to be with.
I guess my third choice is to clue her in to my uncertainty about my feelings and see how she takes it. If she is comfortable loving me more than I love her for the time being, then all is good. IF not then I wish her the best life has to give her.
If you've this far then you are probably thinking I overanalyze shittoo much and it is true. Its the reason I majored in psychology.
I think maybe we all secretly fear meeting someone who is all that we want. Or maybe it just doesn't feel right. I don't know. I've had guys break up with me and then later tell me "I was having issues." I hate the word "issues," my ex used it far too often as a cop-out. All I can say is be a man about it and talk to her about what you feel. Tell her you don't know what the problem is. The worst thing you can do is fake it when you don't feel it, so tell her up-front what you're feeling.
I am the queen of getting involved with guys who fall for me right away and then later get ambivalent. It's the story of my life. I only wish that the ones who'd done that to me had had the balls to actually talk to me about it.
"Attractive" is a tough one....I think too many people buy into the image of what they should be attracted to and want to cling to it even though it's not making them happy. If you were once crazy about her and now are not so much, maybe you should think about when that change came about, and if there was anything that she did or anything outside of your relationship that happened in your life at the same time...
Hank was cool, but Elvis was COOL. How many people can say that there's a legion of men out there trying to dress exactly like him? I think the amount of impersonators alone might tip the balance in his favor....