OK so I am offically hooked on this site. I find myself writing way too long rambling entries as comments to other peoples journals so i decided to start updating my journal instead to hopefully satiate my hunger to self-diclose. For now I will paste the comment I just made in idoless's journal, Its 5 AM and I have to go to bed now. But more entries to come
>About trusting people it is definitely a good thing if you have the capacity for it. And dont lose that, its sort of like virginity its hard to reclaim
Me, I just expect the worst from people because I believe they are 99.9999 % motivated by their own self interest. (Just like I am if I am really honest with myself) So what! they lied to me. so what "they" have crushed my feelings , I am sure I have done the same to others so I dont thnk I am any better than they are.
It also makes me feel better when someone does me wrong if I look at it as life reminding me that I am not seeing people as they really are but am clinging to my illusions of who I would like them to be.
I can become so attached to this illusion that I decide to be hurt because of what THEY did, when actually I just made an error in judgement thats all, and I could just admit it and move on. Why am I so disappointed I already KNOW people are selfish bastards DUH! But it is very hard to do this because like everyone I hate being wrong more thanb I hate being heart broken. And its always easier to blame them rather than admit my judgement of them was off.
lecture is now over sorry just alot of stuf I am personally working through sort of jumped into this comment.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
aoife:
Ok, so I had a lovely date....I just need to learn to be more patient. 'Tis a problem I have. I do love the idea of people lining up outside my door to be my date, though. 
aoife:
there's another list for guys I wanna marry. that one's the list of guys that if they walked into a room, I would fall down and say "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" It's hard to explain...but don't worry, I have plenty of hockey boys that I obsess over. Mark Messier just fits into the "Cool" list better than any of the rest. He's not even my favorite, he's just...well...Messier.
that one's the list of guys that if they walked into a room, I would fall down and say "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" It's hard to explain...but don't worry, I have plenty of hockey boys that I obsess over. Mark Messier just fits into the "Cool" list better than any of the rest. He's not even my favorite, he's just...well...Messier.