I had the worst conversation of my life with the boyfriend tonight.
The topic of SuicideGirls came up, which is always an awesome topic for me to talk about. It seems I never stop talking about it actually, but anyways..
He is a fan of SuicideGirls (of Stormy especially), but he hates the idea of me ever becoming one. Now, for awhile ( a few years actually ) this has been my own personal life goal. I know that it's incredibly hard to become a SG, and I know that I have a lot of things to fix about myself before Im comfortable enough to even go through with the first application process.
But he knows that this is my goal, my dream , my everything. And it scares him he says. He doesn't like the fact that millions of people will be able to see what only he himself should see. He doesn't like the fact that any of his friends will be able to get online and see me naked, and he doesn't like it that the world will veiw me as a "porn-star" and thousands of guys will wank to me , and want to bone me.
All I really want is for him to be supportive, and to respect my decision. I don't think it's a big deal to be naked, and I could really care less WHO sees me naked. Your born naked, many people saw my stuff when I was little , I ran aroun naked well past the age of four.
So being naked now really doesnt concern me much. I try and encourage his goals, and I never down-talk him about anything. It's just his lack in support for me upsets the hell out of me.
So tonight, this is how it went..
Josh : " I don't want you to be a SuicideGirl Kyrie, ever. "
Kyrie : " So, what are you saying? "
Josh : " Im saying, if it does ever happen, things are going to change. "
Kyrie : "You'll break up with me?!"
Josh : "Yeah, most likely."
Bleh, I don't want a boy to stand in the way of what I want to do. But trying to look past a year and a half of relationship is kindof hard...but ... I will probably never manage to achieve my goal...but even so...
Things just suck. xx
The topic of SuicideGirls came up, which is always an awesome topic for me to talk about. It seems I never stop talking about it actually, but anyways..
He is a fan of SuicideGirls (of Stormy especially), but he hates the idea of me ever becoming one. Now, for awhile ( a few years actually ) this has been my own personal life goal. I know that it's incredibly hard to become a SG, and I know that I have a lot of things to fix about myself before Im comfortable enough to even go through with the first application process.
But he knows that this is my goal, my dream , my everything. And it scares him he says. He doesn't like the fact that millions of people will be able to see what only he himself should see. He doesn't like the fact that any of his friends will be able to get online and see me naked, and he doesn't like it that the world will veiw me as a "porn-star" and thousands of guys will wank to me , and want to bone me.
All I really want is for him to be supportive, and to respect my decision. I don't think it's a big deal to be naked, and I could really care less WHO sees me naked. Your born naked, many people saw my stuff when I was little , I ran aroun naked well past the age of four.
So being naked now really doesnt concern me much. I try and encourage his goals, and I never down-talk him about anything. It's just his lack in support for me upsets the hell out of me.
So tonight, this is how it went..
Josh : " I don't want you to be a SuicideGirl Kyrie, ever. "
Kyrie : " So, what are you saying? "
Josh : " Im saying, if it does ever happen, things are going to change. "
Kyrie : "You'll break up with me?!"
Josh : "Yeah, most likely."
Bleh, I don't want a boy to stand in the way of what I want to do. But trying to look past a year and a half of relationship is kindof hard...but ... I will probably never manage to achieve my goal...but even so...
Things just suck. xx
I can certainly understand how he feels. Having someone you care about be naked for the world to see would make most people insecure in a way. I'm sure he thinks that if you became one, hundreds of guys would throw themselves at you, and he might think you'd want one of the other guys.
However, if that's true and he's scared to lose you, breaking up with you wouldn't make sense because he'd then be enabling the thing he's scared of (losing you).
For one, a lot of Suicidegirls have boyfriends (or even husbands) and talk about them all the time. It shouldn't be something to split up over, and instead of looking the negative side of "I don't want guys looking at her and hoping to bone her" he should try seeing the positive of "all these guys want to do my girlfriend, and I'm the only one that gets to. I'm a god!"
Sounds like he's scared to lose you. Comfort him, tell him how much you'd talk about him as an SG, tell him how he'd be the envy of dozens of guys and that you'd rather stick with him, the guy you care about, then go for some random guy you met online.
I don't think intends it to be a lack of support in you as much as he cares about you so much that he's worried what would happen if you became an SG.
Who knows? Maybe I'm totally wrong, but it makes sense in my head. Good luck with all that.