blossy

I wish I would just remember that the best thing when it comes to my journey about myself is to remain vigilant in my thoughts and actions towards others at every turn. This doesn't mean that I can't be sppntaneous and just have a great time; but it means that just when I think I have made progress, holding myself above someone else is me setting myself back. Everyone has flaws, that is what makes us most human, those weaknesses, those little deaths of resolve. Some of us, we look to overcome our flaws by simply ignoring them or when having made progress decide that we have overcome and then we fall back into that flaw even harder. It takes more strength in our soul than we think it has. Through the acceptance of our flaws by others and the obvious impression that said flaws don't make us any less cool in their eyes do we truly flourish. To take the broken and turn it into seeds that exceed the broken by so much more than we could or should have hoped and are whole elsewhere should be our sole ambition in this regard. Progress has been made in my secret garden but I have such a long way to go, so many weeds to pull, overgrown brush to cut back. My accomplishments do not make me better than anyone else in this world, they merely make me a better me; dwelling in them and becoming a braggart or a boasting idiot doesn't help me and it really does disgust those around me. My failures, in my eyes, make me worse than others in that I know many people who dwell on their own self importance. They don't feel the need to be dishonest about themselves and their accomplishments. They simply do dwell and brag and show their flaw off more than their accomplishment. That is not to say at all that I should define myself by these two things, accomplishments and flaws, simply because they are not the sum of me.


The excessive self importance that I see in some of those people whom I love and who are good friends should be noticed by me only to serve as a reminder to myself that I fall into this same category. I notice or dislike this quality only because I dislike it about myself. I truly believe that we hate most in others that which we hate within ourselves. The only way to see the good in those who are so similarly flawed as ourselves is to accept that we truly are disliking that trait which we share and not that person as a whole. Summing a person up in the category of their flaw and tossing them out to the curb is to succumb to that flaw within myself. This has again opened me up to failure to accept the humanity of others while expecting them to accept mine. People say "we can't be liked by everyone" I agree wholeheartedly. I may not know many people personally who dislike me, but I can rest assured they are out there. I try to give everyone a chance, the benefit of the doubt, whatever because it is the right way for me to approach things. Accepting that others share a flaw, I dislike that flaw, and giving them another chance is not always the reason why a person ends up being disliked, let me make this clear. I am simply stating in certain situations this is what can and does happen and it is something I try hard to not allow myself leeway in. It is not my place to make a judgment like that. That is not to say that others do, or should, use the same approach. To rise above my flaws and not fall prey to them while acknowledging and accepting their existence to myself and others is what I should truly work toward. Fully accepting me, learning from my mistakes, and remaining ever vigilant against the hubris I allow is and will always be work. The fight is always there, acknowledging progress guardedly will be a good balance, simply because my flaw loves to come back with a vengeance.

TLDR; People are flawed, just because their flaws resembles something about me that I dislike doesn't mean that I can't accept it, let it go and continue to like that person. Just have to look past myself.