Ok here's a portion of a letter I sent to a former Girlfriend who walked out of my life and after a several months we started talking again... she walked out of my life and moved another asshole in with her, to which she shortly discovered was a very bad idea. So we were supposed to get together to see each other on Valentines Day which did not happen... enjoy and let me know what you think...m
Ok so here's the scenario that played out in my head as I rode the bus home That Fucktard you live with stops by an Indian run Quik-Stop to blow the $10 he has left of the $50 he found. He pulls up to the gas pump and puts $4 in the tank and staggers inside asking the cashier where the restroom is and stumbles to the back. While proceeding to urinate all over the seat he notices the Condom machine, it has a Valentines Day Special package for 75 cents which upon closer inspection he reads what the special package includes:
1 French Tickler Florescent Glow-in-the -Dark Purple Condom, Ribbed for Mutual Pleasure
1 Sample of Imposter "Old Spice" Cologne
1 Stick of "Black Passion" Incense
1 Fake Tattoo of a Heart with a Banner saying "I Love You"
1 Sample packet of KY Warming Jelly
1 Plastic Cock Ring
1 Sample of Man-delay Prolong Cream
1 Sample of Fem-sure Cream to Aide in Achieving Orgasm
Remembering that there are 3 quarters in his ash tray he believes this must be Fate.
He stumbles from the restroom looking for those special gifts that will ensure he gets lucky tonight. Blindly gazing over the aisles he happens across a grungy little misshapen bear, that was once white but is now a spotted mess because every kid that ever came into the store has handled the poor thing, holding a sun bleached what was once red but now yellowish-orange heart that if you squint hard enough you can still make out the "I Love You Beary Much" imprint. He scoops it up and heads down the next aisle finding the "Clearance" section, he spies a cheap bottle of knock off "Boones Farm Strawberry Wine" and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Upon opening the box, his eyes are too glazed over with lust to notice that the candy is so old it has turned white and that there are teeth marks in several of the pieces. As he stumbles further down he finds scented candles that smell of either Soiled Cat Litter or Tijuana Men's Room Vomit, remembering you love candles he grabs one up as well. He makes his way to the register with his tokens of love keeping in mind that he must return to the restroom to secure the most important prize of all. As he drops his treasures on the counter he notices a package that "GUARANTEES" he'd be the stud that would impress you with a night you'd never forget. Tossing this package on the counter along with a half wilted Yellow Rose, he fumbles for his money. As he slaps down the money he notices a "Greatest Disco Love Songs of the 70's" cassette tape marked $1.99 or Free with $4.00 Gas Purchase, "Love is in the Air Tonight," he mumbles to himself, as he is more than convinced that it is going to be his lucky night. He gets 75 cents in change and is now positive that it must be fate. He staggers once again to the restroom to make his final purchase. With his final prize safely stowed away he relieves himself one more time this time in the sink and excitedly exits the store. Upon entering his truck he opens and takes a swig of the wine and takes out his package of Horny Goat Weed and consumes the pills hoping that the drive home will be enough time for the pills to take affect, they said that it was "GUARANTEED". He stumbles through the door of your shared home reeking of cigarettes, stale beer and cheap wine with a grocery bag full of tokens of his love. Wandering to where you're dozing he drops the empty package of "GUARANTEED" pleasure on the floor and his treasures on the bed. He whips out the candle and proceeds to light it and remembers his special treasure, he opens the wrapper and finds his stick of "Black Passion" incense and lights it was well. He tosses the wilted rose towards you as he removes the stick on Tattoo trying to apply it to his forearm without you noticing. He grabs the cassette tape and heads the radio, opening the Sample of Man-delay, not realizing that the volume is cranked all the way up he presses play, Barry White begins to croon through the speakers scaring every living creature within a block radius. Staggering to the kitchen he returns with a cup and pours some wine for you as he fumbles in the bag for the misshapen bear and chocolates. He feels a stirring in his jeans realizing that yes indeed it was "GUARANTEED" and it was beginning to work its magic. Freeing himself from his Levis he rubs the Man-delay onto his swelling member, he remembers the rest of his special package. "Oh the music, the candle, incenses, the wine is working and the Horny Goat Weed is kicking in," he mumbles to himself as he blindly grasps for his plastic Cock Ring which he puts around his scrotum. Feeling the familiar edge of the package he thoughtlessly brings it to his mouth with one hand while toying with the band of your knickers trying to remove them with the other all the while hoping that the claims of the Fem-sure will work as good as the Horny Goat Weed. He realizes that this is going to require both hands and as he tears open the package something splatters across his face, wiping it away he notices that it's slick and is getting slightly warm, he grabs the other foil wrapped trinket and bites into it and is sprayed in the eyes. The vaguely familiar scent, along with the burning in his eyes forces him to remember the Imposter "Old Spice". As he stands there holding his half swollen, Horny Goat Weed induced partial erection he finally retrieves the article that Fate had found for him. Ripping open the foil wrapper he drunkenly attempts to put on a glowing purple mess with what can only be described as having tentacles on his diminishing manhood and swelling testicles that happen to be turning the same color as the mangled mess that was his Prized French Tickler Condom There he stands in a drunken stupor smelling of cheap Imposter "Old Spice" and KY Jelly declaring his love at the top of his lungs with Barry White still crooning at full blast The room is now fully scented with Tijuana Men's Room Vomit and Black Passion, the dingy little misshapen bear stares blankly at the wilting Yellow Rose. With his Levis and piss stained thread-bare, what was once white with red hearts, silk boxers hanging mid-thigh, hampering his movements, he waddles to the bed proclaiming his love for you as he trips and falls to the floor My question is to you now did this Fucktard get lucky???...
Ok so here's the scenario that played out in my head as I rode the bus home That Fucktard you live with stops by an Indian run Quik-Stop to blow the $10 he has left of the $50 he found. He pulls up to the gas pump and puts $4 in the tank and staggers inside asking the cashier where the restroom is and stumbles to the back. While proceeding to urinate all over the seat he notices the Condom machine, it has a Valentines Day Special package for 75 cents which upon closer inspection he reads what the special package includes:
1 French Tickler Florescent Glow-in-the -Dark Purple Condom, Ribbed for Mutual Pleasure
1 Sample of Imposter "Old Spice" Cologne
1 Stick of "Black Passion" Incense
1 Fake Tattoo of a Heart with a Banner saying "I Love You"
1 Sample packet of KY Warming Jelly
1 Plastic Cock Ring
1 Sample of Man-delay Prolong Cream
1 Sample of Fem-sure Cream to Aide in Achieving Orgasm
Remembering that there are 3 quarters in his ash tray he believes this must be Fate.
He stumbles from the restroom looking for those special gifts that will ensure he gets lucky tonight. Blindly gazing over the aisles he happens across a grungy little misshapen bear, that was once white but is now a spotted mess because every kid that ever came into the store has handled the poor thing, holding a sun bleached what was once red but now yellowish-orange heart that if you squint hard enough you can still make out the "I Love You Beary Much" imprint. He scoops it up and heads down the next aisle finding the "Clearance" section, he spies a cheap bottle of knock off "Boones Farm Strawberry Wine" and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Upon opening the box, his eyes are too glazed over with lust to notice that the candy is so old it has turned white and that there are teeth marks in several of the pieces. As he stumbles further down he finds scented candles that smell of either Soiled Cat Litter or Tijuana Men's Room Vomit, remembering you love candles he grabs one up as well. He makes his way to the register with his tokens of love keeping in mind that he must return to the restroom to secure the most important prize of all. As he drops his treasures on the counter he notices a package that "GUARANTEES" he'd be the stud that would impress you with a night you'd never forget. Tossing this package on the counter along with a half wilted Yellow Rose, he fumbles for his money. As he slaps down the money he notices a "Greatest Disco Love Songs of the 70's" cassette tape marked $1.99 or Free with $4.00 Gas Purchase, "Love is in the Air Tonight," he mumbles to himself, as he is more than convinced that it is going to be his lucky night. He gets 75 cents in change and is now positive that it must be fate. He staggers once again to the restroom to make his final purchase. With his final prize safely stowed away he relieves himself one more time this time in the sink and excitedly exits the store. Upon entering his truck he opens and takes a swig of the wine and takes out his package of Horny Goat Weed and consumes the pills hoping that the drive home will be enough time for the pills to take affect, they said that it was "GUARANTEED". He stumbles through the door of your shared home reeking of cigarettes, stale beer and cheap wine with a grocery bag full of tokens of his love. Wandering to where you're dozing he drops the empty package of "GUARANTEED" pleasure on the floor and his treasures on the bed. He whips out the candle and proceeds to light it and remembers his special treasure, he opens the wrapper and finds his stick of "Black Passion" incense and lights it was well. He tosses the wilted rose towards you as he removes the stick on Tattoo trying to apply it to his forearm without you noticing. He grabs the cassette tape and heads the radio, opening the Sample of Man-delay, not realizing that the volume is cranked all the way up he presses play, Barry White begins to croon through the speakers scaring every living creature within a block radius. Staggering to the kitchen he returns with a cup and pours some wine for you as he fumbles in the bag for the misshapen bear and chocolates. He feels a stirring in his jeans realizing that yes indeed it was "GUARANTEED" and it was beginning to work its magic. Freeing himself from his Levis he rubs the Man-delay onto his swelling member, he remembers the rest of his special package. "Oh the music, the candle, incenses, the wine is working and the Horny Goat Weed is kicking in," he mumbles to himself as he blindly grasps for his plastic Cock Ring which he puts around his scrotum. Feeling the familiar edge of the package he thoughtlessly brings it to his mouth with one hand while toying with the band of your knickers trying to remove them with the other all the while hoping that the claims of the Fem-sure will work as good as the Horny Goat Weed. He realizes that this is going to require both hands and as he tears open the package something splatters across his face, wiping it away he notices that it's slick and is getting slightly warm, he grabs the other foil wrapped trinket and bites into it and is sprayed in the eyes. The vaguely familiar scent, along with the burning in his eyes forces him to remember the Imposter "Old Spice". As he stands there holding his half swollen, Horny Goat Weed induced partial erection he finally retrieves the article that Fate had found for him. Ripping open the foil wrapper he drunkenly attempts to put on a glowing purple mess with what can only be described as having tentacles on his diminishing manhood and swelling testicles that happen to be turning the same color as the mangled mess that was his Prized French Tickler Condom There he stands in a drunken stupor smelling of cheap Imposter "Old Spice" and KY Jelly declaring his love at the top of his lungs with Barry White still crooning at full blast The room is now fully scented with Tijuana Men's Room Vomit and Black Passion, the dingy little misshapen bear stares blankly at the wilting Yellow Rose. With his Levis and piss stained thread-bare, what was once white with red hearts, silk boxers hanging mid-thigh, hampering his movements, he waddles to the bed proclaiming his love for you as he trips and falls to the floor My question is to you now did this Fucktard get lucky???...
sindri:
thanks for checking out the debut! i appreciate it take care and have a great week!