bloodymic

so im trying to find someone a little more stable and ready to rock with me...i dont want girl, a SG is fittin the image perfectly...im not perfect but i am a romantic and i want to have the love that just blows you away, the one where i am best friends with her too....you all know, cause thats what everyone wants....i have dated a few since that last steady girl i had and i just cant get passed the idea that i am just a pawn in instant gratification and then BLAM, im noone again...
I hate just fuckin and not having more there...its old and college-like....im almost 30 and i want to start something with the perfect girl (yes i know there is no such thing) but i did have that twice....i could say i was a good BF until i got scared then i shut down and be a dick but i would hope that i could learn...least i think i did already..."She" threw me for a loop big time for over a year after we broke up and i just cant fill those shoes that i have been trying to fill for the past 6 or more years....i just dont know what to do...it seems that all the girls i "admire are taken or not interested in the nice and considerate kinda guy i am....they want g-mo thugs or idiots that treat them like shit.....I would treat them like shit if they want that but i always got the boot when i even didnt give enough attention....I DONT HAVE TO CALL THEM A BITCH OR YELL OR CHEAT OR HIT.......THEY JUST DROP ME FOR SOME PRETTY BOY BITCH AND THROW IT IN MY FACE THAT THEY FUCK LIKE RABBITS....fuck that...i just hate wastin my time...i just wanna be wubbed...is that so hard Poop....this is crap.....im just everyones big brother and nothing more....i get told that i am a sexy boy and if they "didnt have a boyfriend, I would be the perfect guy"...but then they are single and they go for the pretty boy....FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess the question is.........can anyone help me or give me advice or ideas where i could meet someone good for me?

this is getting rediculous.....really


B