bloodygir

I am living proof that some pain(emotional) never goes away. I was going through my cd collection today and stumbled on a CD my ex-wife made me. "Chris and Jessica's love songs" was written on it in her beautiful handwriting. So I got smart, cracked open then rum, and hit play. Now Im all bummed and wanting to see how she is doing. No worries I wont actually try and contact her but the pull in that direction is there. I dont know if anyone left on here knows about her and what happened. It went down in 2003(yeah ive have been around SG for that long despite what my member since date says. my real date should say october 2001). I was married to my highschool lover for about a year. We never got a real honeymoon because I was serving and heading out to sea all the time. The stars aligned and i was able to bring her to hawaii when we pulled in there. Got a hotel on the beach and everything. From minute one I could tell something was off and by lunch on day two I asked her wtf?
"well I wanted us to have a good time here so I wasnt going to tell you, but I had sex with someone else when I went home to visit."
And the world shattered.
Out of anger and denial I decided to at least try and have one last good time with her. It kinda worked. I pretended I was not in agony and she played along. We were divorced within a couple months. For the next few year we stayed in touch. She called me her soul mate and I pretended I was okay with us being friends. Then one day we just stopped talking. About once a month I still get all sad that I dont have her. I dont understand why but she still to this day haunts me. I have shifted from hoping we get back together to just missing her but the pain is still there. I dont believe I should even care anymore but I cant help it. Guess that shows you that when I say I do I mean it.
There is more to this story and more fallout from it but I both dont want to type it out and some of my secrets will remain mine.





In other new my laundry needs to be put in the dryer.

-bloodyGIR