bloodspider

To heare while reading:

Kittie: Everything That Could Have Been

No Doubt: Dont Speak

Mushroomhead: One More Day

(Lol if you have it or even know it)


When she left she said it wouldn't matter,

Nothing would change
Nobodys heart had to shatter.

So I tried to act tough and unfeeling,
but my emotion's rose and hit the ceiling.

I tried to say I'd miss her then,
and for however long it's really been.

But she didn't stop to hear me out,
and I didn't have the courage to shout.

So I let her simply walk away,
not knowing what I had to say.

And now it's to late to make her see,
she doesn't even remember me.

So I have to sit around and pretend,
she was never really my best friend.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone needs a friend.
I thought I had one, one close to me, there when I needed her.
I'd be there for her in return.
I miss you
I miss you so much
I wish I could go to you, tell you how much I miss you as my friend
But instead I'm here, being the coward that I am, speaking hard words,
Pretending to be harder then I am
But you know I'm not, you know what I really am.

I never showed you my sadness, never showed my sorrow, always hiding my pain.
Fighting against your fears to keep you happy, never wanting to have a fight.
Thinking back to that happy time upsets me, realizing how much I miss you.
Realizing how much I need you

I see now how important you were in my life, I know I love you
Love you as a very good friend.
You always knew how to talk to me, how to keep me on the right track.
Often we would walk for miles, just enjoying being with each other.
You made me feel wanted, made me feel like I was someone.

You made me feel alive

But now I never see you, I thought you left me.
I waited for you for so long but you never came.
I felt like you betrayed me, hated me.
I felt so alone, so numb.

I miss you, I always will.
You called up one time, I was scared you would be mad, I wanted to cry.
Cry and run, turn away hiding from you, I didn't want to go.
I didn't feel safe, I didn't feel good, but yet I went.

You opened the door, speechless.
Just watching me, I was shaking, I was so afraid.

You smiled, telling me how you missed me, letting me inside.
It felt so good, I felt so happy.
I could feel your warm welcoming smile.
You told me how you missed me too, you told me how happy you were that I was back

You told me lies

I left, I was happy.
I was happy having my friend back.
But instead you had trade me for someone else.
You threw me away like a old doll.
You lied.
You lied so much, so hard.

I fought for you, I took the hits for you, I took the blame.
You left me broken.

Yet I want you back, I want you back so bad.
You were the beaming light that pierced trough my darkness.
Making me feel warm and wanted.

I miss you, I want you back.
If there was anything I could do, Anything to be with you again.
Then I would do that.

Please forgive me, pleas accept me again
Please don't leave me broken

But broken I stand

Broken and alone

Your not the girl I had once known

The beaming light is gone my darkness remains

Broken and alone yet life still remains

Disappointed

Cheated

Empty

And Dead

But Still Breathing

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and me really aren't so different
We both want more from our lives
You find it in a crowd of bad influence
And a bottle of golden liquid
While I
Found it in reaching towards my dreams
And giving all of me, to you I guess it sounds corny
But to me, it sounds easier.
I see the tomorrow yet to come,
Instead of what you see
We have different perceptions of what is fun,
But together it was still always fun

I wonder how long will it take, I wonder
For you to step back and ponder (on it all)
I wonder
How long will it take for you to realize that everyone's staring
And wondering when it'll get old for you
Because its old to me

But you and me aren't really that different
We both just want someone to care about us
I'm the kind of friend to always listen

Always willing to take the beating
You're the kind to be the center of attention
But I.




But I used to see such a light in you, that wanted to do better
But if better refused to come to you, you just gave up too soon
I wanted to help you up, to stand tall with me
but it was just easier for you
to
fall beneath the help of a friend
And be the drunken clown who loved to be down
But what will you have to show for it in the end?

I wonder how long will it take, I wonder
For you to step back and ponder
I wonder
How long will it take for you to realize that everyone's staring
And wondering when it'll get old for you
Because its old to me Oh

You kept pushing me away and though I tried to still help you,
I hesitated when I realized
That if this is what you really want,
to smile and dance your way through life


An empty shell putting on a fake face for the world to see

and live inside the here and now
And pretend there is no future-how
You can have this life you choose,
but it isn't the life for me
And I still see the girl I was friends with in you,
she's begging to be seen

And she's saying to me
"The more desperate I am, the more I smile
The more lower I fall, the more higher I want to be
I'm bored, bored of it all
The same backdrop, it is nonstop
Somebody save me, no matter how much I protest
I only do what's wrong to pretend I don't want the best"

Oh poor girl

I wonder how long will it take, I wonder
For you to step back and ponder (at it all)
I wonder
How long will it take for you to realize that everyone is staring
I'm wondering when it'll get old for you
Because its old to me

I wonder how long will it take, I wonder
For you to step back and ponder (on it all)
I wonder
How long will it take for you to realize that everyone's staring
And wondering is it old for you?
Wondering
Is it old for you?
Wondering
Is it old for you?
Because its old to me
Oh
How do you sleep?
How do you sleep with that twisted heart of yours
I thought you were stronger
I thought you were better
I prayed you would rise above Oh

You and me really aren't so different
We both want more from our lives

-Spider

Time it is said will heal all wounds no matter how deep. Time can be your best friend and worst enemy. For me time will not pass nearly fast enough where my wounds may oneday be healed right now they will remain in conastant pain. But it is not my self that needs time on their side for others once time pass will relized how big a mistake they have made. I may live in pain but I live with no regrets I ve dont what was best and fought with all my heart but you cant do anything for anyone if they refuse. Place the blame on me if you need to if that is what will make you feel better because at the end of the day I ll still be breathing and can live with myself, where as you will be living your lie that will eventually die. Where as right now I am dead broken and alone when its all said and done you are truely the one to blame and the one left alone