bloodspider

So yeah the last few days... intresting to say the least... hung out with this girl from london i hardly know in cambridge that was kind of nice..kind of... now know where some of the good bars are. Did pretty much nothing else other then Halo muther fucking three... the rest of the time lol.... made officer rankings now yay for me lol I cant entirely be proud of it cause its nerdy and kind of a sign of little to no social life but then again I can be lol. I play with friends on line lol and some of those friends are people i hang with off line so ... shut up... you know you do the same. I m off of normal work for a bit which is nice 4 n 2 14 hour shifts suck majorly so this week is semi chilled... but then next week I leave for germany for two weeks of training in the hills and woods of germany for my six months in iraq coming up yay... well back to Halo I think just took a short break ... by the way if your on it looks for me I m BloodSpiderX ... outs

-Spider

OK So I just stole this but this is what its like tobe in my head seriously like whoa... and yeah..

What do you do?

What do you do when you don't know what to do? What do you do when just as things were getting better, they get much worse? What do you do when you can't just sleep it off or sleep it away? How about when you can't hide the way you're feeling. What do you do then? When those feelings are making others unhappy do you pretend to feel another way? Is it better to hold things in or try to be honest? What do you eat when everything feels like it's just going to come back up? What do you do when you just don't want to do anything? What do you do when it feels like no one is listening? Or caring? Who do you talk to that will understand where you're coming from? Or give you another view on the situation? What do you do when you miss someone and they don't miss you back? Do you wait it out? Do you just hope things will get better? What do you do? Who do you think about if not that one person? What keeps your mind busy? How do you make it better? How do you solve a problem with only one participant? How do you react? How should you have reacted? What is there to be happy about? What is there to look forward to? How long will this last? What could I have done better? What can I do better? How do you improve with no feedback? When can I just be myself and be comfortable with that? Why should I always have to worry about what I'm doing? Am I really at fault for caring? Should I care less? Or more? Am I at fault for ruining things again? Am I once again overreacting? Do mistakes happen this often? Is it my mistake every time? Is my side of the story so hard to understand? Or is it just an invalid argument? Is it even an argument? Or is it just a bad situation? When does it stop? When does it get better? What can I do to better things? Is there anything I can do? How do I better myself? What do you do if you just can't think about anything else? When you can't move on? What do you do if you don't know if you're making things better or worse? What if you just don't have the energy to keep this up but want to more than anything? When will things be the way they were? Why is that so rare these days? What is there to smile about? Why is happiness so difficult? Why is love so difficult? Will difficult make things better in the end? Or just ruin things? Or is that me who will just ruin things? What do you do when the other end of the phone is silent? Do you call again? Or do you wait? What are you waiting for anyways? Is it worth the wait? Will waiting even work? What if that just makes it worse? What won't make it worse? What will help you through the week? Who will be there to care? Will there be anyone there at all? What do you do when you don't know what to do? I just don't know.