blkspring

saw the bukowski documentary over the weekend. really good and full of old footage of the dirty old man. I really think that he should go down as one of the greatest american poets. most people think that barfly is a good representation of the man. hardly. genius carries a price and he paid it. tomorrow is my birthday. doesn't really mean much at this...
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stalking gangland long beach in my mind. places I haven't been for years. I have a feeling that basing my story in the old neighborhood is going to bring up memories that have been dormant for quite a while. should be trying out a new drummer this weekend. he's been a friend for years, but I haven't understood his choices for his last few bands....
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plotting my new story right now. this is a process I hate, but it is necessary. I have written without good outlines before and ended up dissapointed. going to go see "coffee and cigarettes" on sat. should be good. I'm a big fan of jarmusch. who the fuck am I talking to?

I am so tired of working this job. I always knew that I would work as an artist, but I think that I envisioned something completely different. It kills my creativity and makes it difficult for me to write when I get home and writing is all I'm concerned with now. henry miller spent years bumming off of others in order to not spoil his...
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they should all be shot in the face and kicked down a flight of stairs

will there ever be a weekend when it won't be someone's birthday? I'm not saying I don't appreciate being around friends and celebrating with them, but damn, a few weeks in between would be nice. also, what the fuck is with my expression in that picture? I know I was drunk, but I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with that face. you...
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more tests tomorrow. I want to find out what the liver problem is so that I can have a drink. I think I romanticize drinking as much as I enjoy it. I have lived with whiskey and beer most of my life. maybe that's the problem. salud!

Festival of Books was good. Too hot and too many clueless people walking in my way. "Behind the Yellow Tape" panel was great. Ellroy, his wife, Helen Knode and two LAPD homicide dicks from the new cold case squad. Some insight into the "real" police and detective procedural. Some really funny shit, as well. Ellroy says whatever the fuck he wants and doesn't worry about...
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sat. and sun. attending the Festival of Books at UCLA. James Ellroy and his wife Helen Knode are both going to be speaking on a panel. I hope I don't have to injure any sensitive sweaters in order to get a seat. it would be amazing to have the control and impact that Ellroy has with his words.

here's an old picture for my profile. I was drunk with the 1000 yd. stare going. I realize that there are large spaces in my life where I have no pictures of myself. all I can usually find is the drunken group shot from some various event.