I saw this questionaire on this kid's online journal that he filled out -
questions like
do you support the death penalty?
do you support gay rights ?
do you believe in gender equality?
do you believe in god ?
is war ever justifiable?
i guess i am weary about htese types of questions for a couple of reasons
-- they were there and often are used to taxonomize identity . the yes and no responses they demand bothers me a bit.
It seems to limit the discourse these questions bring up -- and further stabilize binary opposition-thinking as how reality is made up.
The more i look at them and the more ambien starts to kick in , I start to not even recognize those forms as quetions. tools of taxonomy but not questions .
i heard this girl who had ben exed from the lds church talk about how she was agnostic and her boyfriend was atheist ,
do i believe in god? -- if someone wanted to talk i would try but probably fail to explain what i think about that question ,
but the words "yes and no" wouldn't be a part of the conversation.
this is not political apathy -- its demanding more of reality-- or admiting there is more to reality than evident
nat asked me if i believed in love -- i cant remember if i answered or if she heard or if we were asleep but still talking:
maybe i should have said i believe in god when i believed in love -- beliefs are more chroniclistically alive =-not terrain of te present-- when beliefs were able to be drawn out
traced on the flattened pen drawing of my body .
why are we talking about these things ---- the closest experience to god you ever had; the lives you led and lovers you had and do i believe in gender equality-- that phrase
i want
i want iwant
im tried of talking about identity -or looking for it -- its so desperate for taxonomy - and science-- to fiure soemthing out --
it goes away with time -- we shouldnt hold on to ours or others identities with such fond-strangled memories, ,,,
dementia ,, drugs ,, old age , identity is really what theyre hungry for........... and were all about appropriation -- you can cheeapen evertything market
but ---- i remember talking to alecia about what was it that people really are in love with when they say they are ---- history
she said history is what we fall in love with -- history of course is a deeply investigated discipline with alot of room for imagination and contextualizing the edits into
a substance you can fall for.of course therres more
it really does get to be much less of an issue as you get older. when i got to be about 34, i really got comfortably settled into not giving a shit about anyone else's opinions about my choices or views. i don't even like having a conversation about topics like those questions you mention, because all it ever is, is people trying to validate themselves and/or convince others of their views--which i guess is the ultimate validation. i just don't see the purpose of people exchanging opposing opinions, and then spending hours debating the issue, only to end up exactly where they started, but now irritated with the other person. yes, i have learned some things by hearing others' views, but overall it is not worth the grief. i'm happiest to just have my beliefs (or non-beliefs) about things, and just be on my way. and, the hardest part, but the most important, is to not give more weight to others' commentaries about me-- or anything for that matter--than is productive and positive for me. it's important to know my limit, and remove myself from situations accordingly.
re: love
falling in love, for me, is about the future. it's about possibilities and optimism.