blahbeastie

I have to go ask for an advance on a loan tomorrow. I hate asking for money, it is the only thing that stresses me out. I can stand on a cliff face, speak in public and play with spiders, no problem -- introduce money into the scenario and I am done. I crack and babble and want to throw up. I couldn't fall asleep until like six this morning because I was thinking about the phone call just to schedual this meeting tomorrow. I hate it.

Ugh.

I think It's an ego thing. It's just incredibly emasculating to have to ask for help. This is probably the only macho feature I have. Alas it must be done or else I will not be able to afford to stay in school this semester.

So it goes.

Oh, I get to go back to California on Saturday, hopefuly this will be the last time I am in Arizona for a long long while.