Okay bored and home working. So now I think I will head out in brooklyn (it's cold and rainy) to see some music and have some drinks. My friends are MIA today, so I am going solo. I think I might have found a photographer...maybe. hm.
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I am feeling pissed off and bummed today because in the last two days I keep thinking of someone this summer who I was super super super great too IN MANY WAYS if you know what I mean..- you wouldn't believe it... (a complete total nerdo who didn't deserve it, or me. I am so stupid) and who in turn ended up being really shitty and mean to me. I am lame enough to still be of angry about it.
Mostly I just mad/sad and feeling sorry for myself because I can't spend my favorite favorite favorite holiday - Halloween - in upstate NY at this great party with all my friends in the woods. I can't really go or shouldn't go because this person will be there with their new "friend"...- what stings even more is the place where they are going is somewhere he wouldn't take me this summer...so it makes me feel even worse. I think because his reasoning before was that he felt uncomfortable having me there with him in public - since people are gossips or something..?I guess? EW. He was being vague at the time. So I went there but not with him (I had a lot of other friends there) - he acted weird and ignored me (after I was staying with him 4 days a week at his place for three months, which he asked me to do) anyhow he acted so weird that weekend that we broke up even though I didn't want to I told him that we had to, it was too weird and he was being a freak, so then it was really sad for me the rest of the summer.
So this week he emailed to inform me that he invited his new "friend" (whom he met and shoved in my face at the beach right after we stopped hanging out) to be there this weekend (for the halloween party) with him ..just to let me know)...glad that she must finally be up to the standard of whom he can be in public with...ugh.
So yeah I am not going. I guess I might freak out and or just feel like sick and shitty and like puking.ahhhh. okay. Is it wrong that I want them to have a horrible time? I am so fucking lame.
Okay
1. How old am I? I sound like a little kid.
2. Probably way too much information, sorry
[Edited on Oct 24, 2005 5:28PM]