So, being that time of year again, tonight was the night to decorate Wheelz' place for x-mas. original plans were for last night, but due to him having to work late, and my brother throwing a poker game, it got put off a day. Now those of you who know me, know I hate x-mas and I use the decorating night as an excuse to drink a bottle of whiskey. Sadly, because it had to be put off to a sunday night this year, that wasn't able to happen, as going into work hung over SUX! Damn. I was really looking forward to getting drunk this weekend. Well, maybe next weekend then.
I still have yet to figure out where I'm going to be for x-mas. Options are as follows: Dinner at my mom's b/f's parents place, where I always feel out of place because I'm not family and barely know anyone there so I'm always uncomfortable, at my dad's place, provided he's not going to be in BC, but then I've got to spend the day trying to carry on pointless and uninteresting conversations with his g/f, and really, after a couple hours there, I'm more than ready to leave because since she moved in to the place, nothing about it feels like the home I grew up in. Third option is to head over to Wheelz place and from there prolly end up at his ex's parents place (I grew up with her and have known her family most of my life) for dinner, but something about that thought just doesn't feel right to me. Final option is for me to sit at home alone, relaxing and doing absolutely nothing with absolutely no one. The last option is kinda where I'm leaning right now. This is my first x-mas out on my own, and I kinda feel like spending it alone. But why is it whenever I mention that to people they always say "No, you can't spend christmas alone"? I even had somebody invite me over to her mom's place for dinner with the 2 of them. I barely know this girl and have never met her mother. What is so wrong about wanting to spend it alone? I hate the season, I hate the commercialism, if I didn't have nieces and a nephew, I'd go for a Buy Nothing Christmas and just MAKE cards for people, (but how do you explain to a 5 year old that that's her present). Because I hate all these things, doesn't it seem like the logical thing that I'd be happier spending it alone? Rather than putting on a fake smile and forcing myself to swallow all the tripe of this consumer whore holiday?
This is why I want to move to Europe. I want to be somewhere that I'm not going to have to deal with this. I'll be somewhere where I'll barely know anyone by this time of year, and will be able to spend it alone. If that makes me a Scrooge, then so be it. I just want to be alone this year. Why can't anyone understand that? I'm tempted to tell everyone I'm going over to some one else's place, just so I can be alone this year. Guess we'll just see what happens.
Now it's time for bed.
I still have yet to figure out where I'm going to be for x-mas. Options are as follows: Dinner at my mom's b/f's parents place, where I always feel out of place because I'm not family and barely know anyone there so I'm always uncomfortable, at my dad's place, provided he's not going to be in BC, but then I've got to spend the day trying to carry on pointless and uninteresting conversations with his g/f, and really, after a couple hours there, I'm more than ready to leave because since she moved in to the place, nothing about it feels like the home I grew up in. Third option is to head over to Wheelz place and from there prolly end up at his ex's parents place (I grew up with her and have known her family most of my life) for dinner, but something about that thought just doesn't feel right to me. Final option is for me to sit at home alone, relaxing and doing absolutely nothing with absolutely no one. The last option is kinda where I'm leaning right now. This is my first x-mas out on my own, and I kinda feel like spending it alone. But why is it whenever I mention that to people they always say "No, you can't spend christmas alone"? I even had somebody invite me over to her mom's place for dinner with the 2 of them. I barely know this girl and have never met her mother. What is so wrong about wanting to spend it alone? I hate the season, I hate the commercialism, if I didn't have nieces and a nephew, I'd go for a Buy Nothing Christmas and just MAKE cards for people, (but how do you explain to a 5 year old that that's her present). Because I hate all these things, doesn't it seem like the logical thing that I'd be happier spending it alone? Rather than putting on a fake smile and forcing myself to swallow all the tripe of this consumer whore holiday?
This is why I want to move to Europe. I want to be somewhere that I'm not going to have to deal with this. I'll be somewhere where I'll barely know anyone by this time of year, and will be able to spend it alone. If that makes me a Scrooge, then so be it. I just want to be alone this year. Why can't anyone understand that? I'm tempted to tell everyone I'm going over to some one else's place, just so I can be alone this year. Guess we'll just see what happens.
Now it's time for bed.