You know, I haven't taken anti-depressents since I was 14 years old, before I hitched out to California. I started taking them again 3 weeks ago, at a doctors suggestion. Up until tonight, I hadn't thought seriously about killing myself in over a year. Coincidence? I won't do it, because I am passed that and because I have so much to live for. But it's weird having those thoughts again...it seems alien somehow. Like something has gotten inside my head. I think I'll talk to the doctor about not taking these anymore. I hate feeling this way.
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Perhaps, a med that works in a different way would be helpful. (I'm assuming your taking an SSRI since they are the most commonly prescribed.)
Good Luck