Soooooooo need to get away from everyone and everywhere. I'm already planning my getaway from a place I won't even be moving to for another month. I am going to end up a hermit.
Sorry for spilling my heart to a bunch of randoms, feel free to stop reading.
Things are just very messed up right now. The trade-off for stripper cash turns out to be the reign the stigma holds over your life and relationships. I love dancing. It's the most exciting, most liberating, most fuck-you-world thing I've ever done. Not to mention, its given me the financial means to finally start travelling around the country like I've wanted to since I was a little girl. I don't want to give it up. But once a stripper, always a stripper. Even people I know and love now focus their attention on that alone. New people I try to get to know find out that I dance, and assume I'm a slut or a manipulative bitch. Or if they don't assume that, they see a crazed, clingy little girl. People, it turns out, get way too much credit.
I'm scared to tell my best friends what I do for a living. I'm scared to tell my little sister that it's time for me to leave this city. I'm scared that people won't take me seriously, or will assume that I have ulterior motives for leaving Canberra (a fear already proving true). Most of all, I'm scared that no one will ever chill the fuck out and see things from a new perspective.
People, and their attitudes, are the only thing that really scares me in this world. I just want it to all go away.
Sorry for spilling my heart to a bunch of randoms, feel free to stop reading.
Things are just very messed up right now. The trade-off for stripper cash turns out to be the reign the stigma holds over your life and relationships. I love dancing. It's the most exciting, most liberating, most fuck-you-world thing I've ever done. Not to mention, its given me the financial means to finally start travelling around the country like I've wanted to since I was a little girl. I don't want to give it up. But once a stripper, always a stripper. Even people I know and love now focus their attention on that alone. New people I try to get to know find out that I dance, and assume I'm a slut or a manipulative bitch. Or if they don't assume that, they see a crazed, clingy little girl. People, it turns out, get way too much credit.
I'm scared to tell my best friends what I do for a living. I'm scared to tell my little sister that it's time for me to leave this city. I'm scared that people won't take me seriously, or will assume that I have ulterior motives for leaving Canberra (a fear already proving true). Most of all, I'm scared that no one will ever chill the fuck out and see things from a new perspective.
People, and their attitudes, are the only thing that really scares me in this world. I just want it to all go away.
On another note...once a stripper...always a dancer. Look at it that way. Turn that around in your own mind first! Many People suck and so do their opinions! I hate lables! and I hate how people get tagged. I saw a kid I graduated with the other day and he made the comment...Wow...Christ, you were short when you graduated...now your a big geek! Amusing...seeing as he amounted to total Shite in life and is scraping the bottom of the barrel...Be proud in yourself...Get away and enjoy yourself! Once confident and positive again...reintroduce the strong you! Til later...I love your new profile pic!
It's hard for people to think of dancers as "girl who dances naked as a job" instead of "STRIPPER!" You kind of have to make your mind up about whether that's who you want to be and are willing to put up with other people's reactions and expectations.