Holy crap. I knew I shouldn't have left my car key on the hall table.
[For the information of the reader. My car is a tiny little Excel. New and reliable, with a trusty emergency toolbox in the boot, but not exactly fast or rugged].
I got woken up at 5am to the racket of two of my housemates only just getting home for some bizarre reason. I went out to have a bitch and ask what the hell was going on; my vague recollection of the response is "you wanna know what's goin on, go have a look in the fuckin loungeroom dude!". Me being the boring sleepybug that I am, crawled back into bed muttering about fucking insane people and ungodly hours.
So. I FINALLY got my sick lazy arse out of bed at 2pm today. Wandered into the kitchen in search of a crust for brekkie, and peeked through the loungeroom door to see if anyone else was awake.
No housemates, but this is what WAS there:
- an 8ft pole with a stop sign still attached to the top
- two street signs, apparently kidnapped from Adder St and Phantom St, two places I did not know existed
- a four foot steel sandwich board sign pointing the way to some display village
- another four foot steel sign pointing the way to the sales office of some display village, presumably the same village but possibly not
- about 10 feet of bright orange plasticky warning tape, with "Danger, Electrical Cables Below" printed on it. Not like the flimsy tape police use. Solid plastic, just all coiled up.
And last but definitely not least:
- a five foot wide satin flag, announcing the development agency responsible for the new mall on the northside of town. Last time I saw this flag it was at the top of a 20 foot flagpole in the middle of a construction site. This morning it was hanging proudly and triumphantly from the back of our couch. Apparently there was some impressive pole-climbing involved in the kidnapping of this particular prize.
Just as I finish gawking over the ridiculous new influx of stolen junk, and start planning where to display it all, one of the thieving, conniving housemates in question wanders up behind me and says:
"Yeah... guess we owe you some petrol money."
[For the information of the reader. My car is a tiny little Excel. New and reliable, with a trusty emergency toolbox in the boot, but not exactly fast or rugged].
I got woken up at 5am to the racket of two of my housemates only just getting home for some bizarre reason. I went out to have a bitch and ask what the hell was going on; my vague recollection of the response is "you wanna know what's goin on, go have a look in the fuckin loungeroom dude!". Me being the boring sleepybug that I am, crawled back into bed muttering about fucking insane people and ungodly hours.
So. I FINALLY got my sick lazy arse out of bed at 2pm today. Wandered into the kitchen in search of a crust for brekkie, and peeked through the loungeroom door to see if anyone else was awake.
No housemates, but this is what WAS there:
- an 8ft pole with a stop sign still attached to the top
- two street signs, apparently kidnapped from Adder St and Phantom St, two places I did not know existed
- a four foot steel sandwich board sign pointing the way to some display village
- another four foot steel sign pointing the way to the sales office of some display village, presumably the same village but possibly not
- about 10 feet of bright orange plasticky warning tape, with "Danger, Electrical Cables Below" printed on it. Not like the flimsy tape police use. Solid plastic, just all coiled up.
And last but definitely not least:
- a five foot wide satin flag, announcing the development agency responsible for the new mall on the northside of town. Last time I saw this flag it was at the top of a 20 foot flagpole in the middle of a construction site. This morning it was hanging proudly and triumphantly from the back of our couch. Apparently there was some impressive pole-climbing involved in the kidnapping of this particular prize.
Just as I finish gawking over the ridiculous new influx of stolen junk, and start planning where to display it all, one of the thieving, conniving housemates in question wanders up behind me and says:
"Yeah... guess we owe you some petrol money."
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
If you cooked for me it would save a great deal of injury AND embarassment. Not to mention, I wouldn't go hungry so often!