work is really hard at the minute.
i work in a small office of 5 ladies (including me) and only 2 of us work full time. luckily i get on really well with my manager, but she's got a 10 month old daughter and is trying to do a PHD in her spare time as well, so is often strung out and swings between doing everything herself and then completely collapsing. worryingly i see a lot of myself in her.
the other project adminsitrator is also great, she stood in for my manager (who was still on maternity leave) when i first came to the company and she's great to talk to, i've learnt a lot from her. but saying that, she can be a little patronising and i often don't think she takes me that seriously. one thing that the whole team have picked up on is how eager i am to do the right thing, and every day i go in it feels like i'm becoming more and more like this puppy who will bound around after everyone and then come back begging for more work. i DO want experience, and they are giving me loads to be fair, but i don't feel like myself at all. its just one big permanent smile thats on my face and i can't get out of the habit. i need more money and more fecking respect for all the shit i shoulder. today my manager gave me about 15 oh her jobs to do in the next two days, and i will get them done. so why am i on 14,500 and she's on nearly 40,000?
and you know what? it's not even the money. it's the self-worth. i've been to uni, i slogged my ass off for three years to get a 2:1 because I didn't find my degree that easy (not that i'll admit it) i've put myself in.....what.....15,000 debt?, and i worked really hard to fit in to a city lfie and make lots more friends because i was so adamant i would never come home again.
now i'm back home, and working for peanuts while my friends who haven't even been through uni earn 10,000 more.
god i sounds ungrateful.fucking hate myself when i get like this. stupid rich greedy c****.
i work in a small office of 5 ladies (including me) and only 2 of us work full time. luckily i get on really well with my manager, but she's got a 10 month old daughter and is trying to do a PHD in her spare time as well, so is often strung out and swings between doing everything herself and then completely collapsing. worryingly i see a lot of myself in her.
the other project adminsitrator is also great, she stood in for my manager (who was still on maternity leave) when i first came to the company and she's great to talk to, i've learnt a lot from her. but saying that, she can be a little patronising and i often don't think she takes me that seriously. one thing that the whole team have picked up on is how eager i am to do the right thing, and every day i go in it feels like i'm becoming more and more like this puppy who will bound around after everyone and then come back begging for more work. i DO want experience, and they are giving me loads to be fair, but i don't feel like myself at all. its just one big permanent smile thats on my face and i can't get out of the habit. i need more money and more fecking respect for all the shit i shoulder. today my manager gave me about 15 oh her jobs to do in the next two days, and i will get them done. so why am i on 14,500 and she's on nearly 40,000?
and you know what? it's not even the money. it's the self-worth. i've been to uni, i slogged my ass off for three years to get a 2:1 because I didn't find my degree that easy (not that i'll admit it) i've put myself in.....what.....15,000 debt?, and i worked really hard to fit in to a city lfie and make lots more friends because i was so adamant i would never come home again.
now i'm back home, and working for peanuts while my friends who haven't even been through uni earn 10,000 more.
god i sounds ungrateful.fucking hate myself when i get like this. stupid rich greedy c****.