Reposted from my livejournal post earlier...
So it's 3:35am.
So I have a five-page paper due tomorrow.
So I've had 4 cups of coffee.
...
And I haven't started yet. To be fair, I've been working on better things. Liiiike, reading all of Questionable Content. Maybe not so constructive, but hilarious and it put me in a better mood. I haven't felt this good in a long time.
So I've been ridiculously busy with school lately. 4 theatre projects on the go, 3 five-page papers to write, midterms, finals to worry about, and waiting for the other shoe to fall on my BFA audition, AND worrying about getting prepared for my National Theatre School audition in... 9 days. Wow. Nine days.
Sorry about the last few entries. Mainly the last one. It's true that I've been on a relationship hiatus for the past... let's just say it's been a while. It's not like I've not been in situations where I could pursue one, but I just haven't been ready to get into that, especially while I'm so busy with school. Money problems, schoolwork, theatre work, worrying about auditions... it's just alot to have on one's plate.
It's good though. Compared to the 2 years between high school and University, it actually feels like I'm going to end up somewhere that I'll enjoy... even if I'm still poor and working shit jobs to make ends meet- hopefully I'll be in theatre and doing something I love.
It's funny... I went into Drama at the UofA because it felt like that was the only thing I could see keeping me attending. Don't get me wrong - I love philosophy, psychology, sociology, english, and all that, but I think they're there so that I can broaden my mind, rather than pursue a degree in. But within 2 days of being in the BA Drama program, I felt I finally fit in somewhere (even though it doesn't quite seem a perfect fit - that's just who I am), and by the beginning of the second semester, I discovered I'm quite passionate about theatre, acting, directing, and all that drama goodness. It's really comfortable to know that I'm in the 'right' place.
Speaking of being awkward in situations, I've realized that I really don't fit in alot of places. I've had the opportunity to be in alot of different situations in the past 5 or so years, and I've rarely really felt... comfortable? Something akin to that. There have been instances, brief moments, where it'll hit me that I'm really enjoying something, but then I'll overthink it, and that usually ruins it... not ruins, really, but takes away that nice feeling.
I'm reading a book about quitting smoking to see if it'll happen. It has slowly inched it's way to addiction since I started... 3 years ago? Wow. Anyways, the book's author seems quite adamant that even I can quit the "nicotine trap." It'll be interesting to see the result. Good knows, as an actor, I shouldn't be damaging my voice like that, but I shouldn't be drinking pop, grunting, coughing, or anything of the like.
...
I need to get a fucking job. Soon. I was thinking that waiting tables could be a good income for the next 4 months. Wages aren't great, but I'm an actor and not terribly physically awkward, so I think I could earn OK tips, which I would have to learn to save so that I could avoid a period like I'm going through right now, depending on Mom and my roommate to feed me and help with rent. I'd like to say that, with all the experience and aptitude I have, I could go work at a call centre, but the thought alone sends shivers down my spine. I just can't stand the whole idea of it anymore. The corporate world is just not for me.
For example - in psych, we watched a video where this woman was illustrating that psychology can be used for practical, work-related purposes, and then talked about raising productivity in a corporate environment that eerily reminded me of Convergys Millwoods. My heart started racing and I got really angry all of a sudden. Not the healthiest reaction, but things like that really cement my idea that I shouldn't been employed in such a field.
Anyways, enough time wasted updating this for people who really don't care. I love all of you who read this, but let's face it, weblogs are for cathartic reasons... that's why people don't like talking about what they wrote on the internet in conversation. I'd post to Grouphup, but that's a little too impersonal.
Thanks for reading. Let's hope this essay is a gooder. Much love,
P-Dot.
So it's 3:35am.
So I have a five-page paper due tomorrow.
So I've had 4 cups of coffee.
...
And I haven't started yet. To be fair, I've been working on better things. Liiiike, reading all of Questionable Content. Maybe not so constructive, but hilarious and it put me in a better mood. I haven't felt this good in a long time.
So I've been ridiculously busy with school lately. 4 theatre projects on the go, 3 five-page papers to write, midterms, finals to worry about, and waiting for the other shoe to fall on my BFA audition, AND worrying about getting prepared for my National Theatre School audition in... 9 days. Wow. Nine days.
Sorry about the last few entries. Mainly the last one. It's true that I've been on a relationship hiatus for the past... let's just say it's been a while. It's not like I've not been in situations where I could pursue one, but I just haven't been ready to get into that, especially while I'm so busy with school. Money problems, schoolwork, theatre work, worrying about auditions... it's just alot to have on one's plate.
It's good though. Compared to the 2 years between high school and University, it actually feels like I'm going to end up somewhere that I'll enjoy... even if I'm still poor and working shit jobs to make ends meet- hopefully I'll be in theatre and doing something I love.
It's funny... I went into Drama at the UofA because it felt like that was the only thing I could see keeping me attending. Don't get me wrong - I love philosophy, psychology, sociology, english, and all that, but I think they're there so that I can broaden my mind, rather than pursue a degree in. But within 2 days of being in the BA Drama program, I felt I finally fit in somewhere (even though it doesn't quite seem a perfect fit - that's just who I am), and by the beginning of the second semester, I discovered I'm quite passionate about theatre, acting, directing, and all that drama goodness. It's really comfortable to know that I'm in the 'right' place.
Speaking of being awkward in situations, I've realized that I really don't fit in alot of places. I've had the opportunity to be in alot of different situations in the past 5 or so years, and I've rarely really felt... comfortable? Something akin to that. There have been instances, brief moments, where it'll hit me that I'm really enjoying something, but then I'll overthink it, and that usually ruins it... not ruins, really, but takes away that nice feeling.
I'm reading a book about quitting smoking to see if it'll happen. It has slowly inched it's way to addiction since I started... 3 years ago? Wow. Anyways, the book's author seems quite adamant that even I can quit the "nicotine trap." It'll be interesting to see the result. Good knows, as an actor, I shouldn't be damaging my voice like that, but I shouldn't be drinking pop, grunting, coughing, or anything of the like.
...
I need to get a fucking job. Soon. I was thinking that waiting tables could be a good income for the next 4 months. Wages aren't great, but I'm an actor and not terribly physically awkward, so I think I could earn OK tips, which I would have to learn to save so that I could avoid a period like I'm going through right now, depending on Mom and my roommate to feed me and help with rent. I'd like to say that, with all the experience and aptitude I have, I could go work at a call centre, but the thought alone sends shivers down my spine. I just can't stand the whole idea of it anymore. The corporate world is just not for me.
For example - in psych, we watched a video where this woman was illustrating that psychology can be used for practical, work-related purposes, and then talked about raising productivity in a corporate environment that eerily reminded me of Convergys Millwoods. My heart started racing and I got really angry all of a sudden. Not the healthiest reaction, but things like that really cement my idea that I shouldn't been employed in such a field.
Anyways, enough time wasted updating this for people who really don't care. I love all of you who read this, but let's face it, weblogs are for cathartic reasons... that's why people don't like talking about what they wrote on the internet in conversation. I'd post to Grouphup, but that's a little too impersonal.
Thanks for reading. Let's hope this essay is a gooder. Much love,
P-Dot.
aspasia:
Yay for quitting smoking!