blackberrie

so this kid that i used to know (actually we lost our virginities to eachother) IMmed me last night... which is random because i dont really talk to him anymore..at all. as a matter of fact i believe its been years since weve talked.

so anyway

he starts talking about how he misses talking to me... how he is always checking up on me through my xanga page and always looking to see if i put up new pictures, always reads my away messages, and such. basically just to look out on me and see how im doing. i ask him if hes stalking me (jokingly.) he says no, but that he still cares about how im doing.

mind you im completely over this kid at this point and honestly didnt even believe that i was his first... this kid was a jerkoff and a dick and at the time we knew eachother was all about these pretty little bitchy princesses who spend more time caring about how they look and what other people think of them, then how they treat other people, including their friends in their stupid little cliques that they had, and basically these girls are going nowhere in life but a fucking whore house. ok so i went off track a little bit..

well we keep talking and he says things like how amazing i am, how he hopes i end up with someone who deserves me and that person will be a lucky man and how hes sorry for everything that hes put me through.

he says things like "i dont know why i ever liked those other girls. ive matured and realized, you were more fun to be with. your exciting. we had such great times together. you never had any stupid pointless problems, and if you did they were problems you could take care of yourself"
(*im not lying, he said all of these things)

then he says........ "i think we just met at the wrong time"

so in my head im thinking, 'wow, is he trying to get back with me or something?'

so we continue shooting the shit in regular conversation and all of a sudden... something sparks in my brain telling me "maybe he has changed.... maybe hes right... we might have met at the wrong time... so what if we met know? what if we rekindled our friendship??" and now... i cant stop thinking about that.


mind you this kid lives in CT... and i live in PA... long distance relationships just do not work.



well my point of this bulletin was basically to get this off of my chest, and ask for advise. do i care about this kid anymore? do i continue on with my life as it was before last night? do i continue talking to him? do i try to go visit him? or do i just say fuck it?




its so strange how old feelings can come back within a second with the right words.