bixbygrendel

Story time everyone. Yeah it's long. But it's a story.


I walk out into the parking lot of Montanas Steak House, going toward my car. When I reach my car I hear a coice behind me...
"Hey." she says.
I feel a slight shudder as I remember the voice. I turn around.
"Hey" I reply.
"I haven't seen you since before you were arrested."she says with a sad tone.
"No, I guess you haven't. Alot of people haven't seen me in the past six months.", I say.
"Well what have you been doing?"
"Sitting mostly. Starting up a business soon."
"Doing what? That website thing you and Jeremy were gonna do?"
"No. That was just a way to make money. I'm more into being genuinely happy now. So I'm gonna be doing alot of photography."
"Oh yeah. I knew you were into that."
"Yeah. We discussed it a few times I imagine."
"Well, I missed you a little."
"Did you now?"
"I did. I would have called but I don't know your number since you don't have your cel anymore."
"Yeah. I can't even legally touch one."
"Well, did you miss me?"
"Yeah. For a while there I did."
"Well I've been thinking of you alot lately."
"So have I."
"Uhm. Well I was thinking we could try and patch things up. Yah know. And ..."
I wait for her to finish. She just looks at me sheepishly which I'll admit makes my penis dance a little. She doesn't finish. So I say "And what?"
"And, maybe, get back together?", she says inquizitively.
"We were never together."
"Well not in name, but we were close. And there were those few nights where we really together."
"Yeah. I remember."
"Didn't you think it was nice? I thought you were really into me."
"I was." I said sorely.
"So what changed that we can't try again?", she asks.
"It's been six years." I say strenly.
She hangs her head down slightly. Looks toward the ground. And sighs. Then says "I thought you might still feel the same.Oh! You aren't with someone now are you?"
"No. I'm not.", I say.
She asks"Then you don't feel anything, like at all, for me?"
"I didn't say that."
"So you do?" she asks perking up.
"Didn't say that either." I respond quickly, and correctively.

<<<<<<<<<<<Here's where it matters.>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So she says to me, "I really want you."
I turn to the open door of my running car and say in a tone so cold and so empty, "And what makes you think that matters?"
Then I drive away. I don't think a thought of it. Not at all. Then I'm halfway home and it hits me. How cold I was. How little I seemed to care. I didn't plan it that way. To tell you the truth I had to remind myself why that would be.

It was six years ago. She wanted me like a fat kid wants pie. I wanted her. Yet one day she just stopped calling. I didn't know why. I got over it quick though. Weeks later her friend told me it was because she heard about my former drug addictions, my very violent past and my daughter. She seems to think that she's a big girl now who can accept that. Funny, I just can't seem to care.



The moral of the story everyone. If you have feelings for someone and you want to be with them. Then you hear things you don't know how to deal with yet. Don't just blow the guy off after seeing him for 2 months. Let him know. Do it as nicely as possible. Otherwise one day.... he may return the favour.

If you read all of that then you must REALLY like me. Good for you. I like me too.