Wow. Wow. At the end of my twenties, namely prior to 10:38 p.m. last night, I thought my vagina still had a few rights left. I was wrong. (Thanks for all the birthday wishes, though!)
Scene: Morning -- a newly-thirtysomething checks her RSS feeds. She takes a sip of coffee and nearly spews it all over her laptop. She shakes her fist, and growls in a somewhat pirate-like fashion. The color in her face drains completely. As she looks to the sky, she exclaims "OHFORTHELOVEOFCHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?"
How can people be so stupid? Seriously. How? This Metafilter thread contains content so obscene the Supreme Court couldn't even ban it, because their heads would explode first. A Virginia state representative, John Cosgrove, has introduced legislation that would require women to report all miscarriages within 12 hours. ALL miscarriages. Within TWELVE hours. Does he even know how common miscarriages are in the first trimester, let alone the first few weeks?
(I don't even have to Google this guy, I can tell you exactly what he looks like. Smug. Old boy. I like to kick back a few bourbons and yell at my wife, but then I ask Jesus to forgive me. You know the type. Let's check and see if I'm right. Oh, bingo! Spot on.)
You know what? Call me crazy, but do you really want some Alabama-born community college grad telling you what to do in the event you unintentionally lose a pregnancy? I'm going with a "no" on that one. No one should be telling you what to do in that situation other than your doctor, and your conscience. Community college, Ivy League, black, white, gay, straight, male, female...y'all can just stay out of my pants, thanks.
(Unless you're Jude Law... in which case, come on in!)
Here's the bill itself, and here's a well-written post from a Virginian positing what might happen in the event this piece of overreaching legislative idiocy gets passed. (You thought Tom DeLay blaming the tsunami on a lack of the Christian faith in Southeast Asia was dumb? Well, it just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?)
What can possibly be gained from this bill other than spilling another jug of (Halliburton-extracted) oil on the slippery slope towards banning abortion?
When the local police find a baby some teenager gave birth to at the prom, then ditched in the school bathroom trashcan, it's one thing. Something sketchy happened, and they should look into it. But imagine a woman who's been trying to get pregnant for years. She keeps having miscarriages for one medical reason or another. You're going to put her through repeat police interviews? Have the neighbors wondering if she's a menace to society every time the patrol car shows up? Invade her privacy because she can't seem to carry a child to term? Someone made a comment on Metafilter about surrounding tampons with crime scene tape - give us a few more years of these kind of legislative yahoos and that's what you'll get.
Scene: The year 2014, in the Great Republic of Jesusland. An adorable redheaded 30-year-old wakes up and goes to the bathroom. She brushes her teeth with Immaculate Conception whitening toothpaste, and sleepily, out of habit, moves to put her used tampon in the garbage can. She then realizes her near-error. "Whew. A class 1 misdemeanor is not a good way to start the day!" As she places the tampon in the government-approved pregnancy hormone-sensing disposal unit, it starts flashing. The girl has never seen this happen before. She stares in amazement at the unit, until we hear a phone ringing in the background. She runs to pick it up. "Is this Ms. X? This is the sheriff's office. We'll be right over to bring you down for questioning."
My friend sent me a link yesterday...some knitters are planning to knit up the uterus pattern from the latest issue of Knitty and dump them on the steps of the Supreme Court. They're calling it Wombs on Washington. Quoth the project's founders:
Scene: Morning -- a newly-thirtysomething checks her RSS feeds. She takes a sip of coffee and nearly spews it all over her laptop. She shakes her fist, and growls in a somewhat pirate-like fashion. The color in her face drains completely. As she looks to the sky, she exclaims "OHFORTHELOVEOFCHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?"
How can people be so stupid? Seriously. How? This Metafilter thread contains content so obscene the Supreme Court couldn't even ban it, because their heads would explode first. A Virginia state representative, John Cosgrove, has introduced legislation that would require women to report all miscarriages within 12 hours. ALL miscarriages. Within TWELVE hours. Does he even know how common miscarriages are in the first trimester, let alone the first few weeks?
(I don't even have to Google this guy, I can tell you exactly what he looks like. Smug. Old boy. I like to kick back a few bourbons and yell at my wife, but then I ask Jesus to forgive me. You know the type. Let's check and see if I'm right. Oh, bingo! Spot on.)
You know what? Call me crazy, but do you really want some Alabama-born community college grad telling you what to do in the event you unintentionally lose a pregnancy? I'm going with a "no" on that one. No one should be telling you what to do in that situation other than your doctor, and your conscience. Community college, Ivy League, black, white, gay, straight, male, female...y'all can just stay out of my pants, thanks.
(Unless you're Jude Law... in which case, come on in!)
Here's the bill itself, and here's a well-written post from a Virginian positing what might happen in the event this piece of overreaching legislative idiocy gets passed. (You thought Tom DeLay blaming the tsunami on a lack of the Christian faith in Southeast Asia was dumb? Well, it just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?)
What can possibly be gained from this bill other than spilling another jug of (Halliburton-extracted) oil on the slippery slope towards banning abortion?
When the local police find a baby some teenager gave birth to at the prom, then ditched in the school bathroom trashcan, it's one thing. Something sketchy happened, and they should look into it. But imagine a woman who's been trying to get pregnant for years. She keeps having miscarriages for one medical reason or another. You're going to put her through repeat police interviews? Have the neighbors wondering if she's a menace to society every time the patrol car shows up? Invade her privacy because she can't seem to carry a child to term? Someone made a comment on Metafilter about surrounding tampons with crime scene tape - give us a few more years of these kind of legislative yahoos and that's what you'll get.
Scene: The year 2014, in the Great Republic of Jesusland. An adorable redheaded 30-year-old wakes up and goes to the bathroom. She brushes her teeth with Immaculate Conception whitening toothpaste, and sleepily, out of habit, moves to put her used tampon in the garbage can. She then realizes her near-error. "Whew. A class 1 misdemeanor is not a good way to start the day!" As she places the tampon in the government-approved pregnancy hormone-sensing disposal unit, it starts flashing. The girl has never seen this happen before. She stares in amazement at the unit, until we hear a phone ringing in the background. She runs to pick it up. "Is this Ms. X? This is the sheriff's office. We'll be right over to bring you down for questioning."
My friend sent me a link yesterday...some knitters are planning to knit up the uterus pattern from the latest issue of Knitty and dump them on the steps of the Supreme Court. They're calling it Wombs on Washington. Quoth the project's founders:
Some of my friends and I were talking about the possibility of Scalia as the new chief justice of the supreme(ly conservative) court, and my only response was: "I may as well cut out my womb and leave it on the steps of the Supreme Court."
Might as well. It's the equivalent of sending your body to juvenile detention. If you can't see your old crack dealer friends (bleed every month), you're less likely to hang out with them and get in trouble (chance an accidental miscarriage and a misdemeanor on your record).
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Hellooo, Handmaid's Tale!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
every time i read something about my home state now, i feel like pretending that its not
i dont know who the fuck votes for these assholes, but apparently the majority of virginians cant read, think for themselves, watch anything besides the 700 club, accept that women are human, etc.etc.etc.
id go vomit, but the last time this happened (about twenty minutes ago, sadly, discussing the past election) i ran out of stomach contents
its alright, though, there seem to be a larger number of literate people in the rest of the country, and they wont let this shit pass
in the meantime, good look out
im sorry my state ruined your day
ALSO: happy post birthday. mine was the day after yours, coincedentally
[Edited on Jan 09, 2005 10:11AM]