I've had such an upsetting day today... 
I feel so out of touch with my best friend, and living 3,000 miles away from her definetly doesn't help. I love knowing that even though we're so far apart we can still stay so close, but on days like this, I wish she were here with me more than ever, and it makes everything so much worse.
My tailbone is bruised, and the rest of my body feels like it's going to collapse at any given moment. I want nothing more than to just sleep for as long as humanly possible and stay in bed and relax all day, but with 2 of my co-workers quitting this week, the pressure is on for the rest of us to fill in their hours, and therefore I can't even take a day off even to regain my strength.
My mom is completely refusing to help me with my shitty money situation now, and I'm not entirely sure why. She was fine with me all day, but the moment I mentioned that my cell phone was out of minutes, she did a complete 180 and started acting like a total cunt. I don't get it. I help her out with money all the time, for rent, for food, for gas, and she hardly ever pays me back. But she can't do the same for me? It just doesn't make sense to me how selfish and inconsiderate some people can be, especially my mother of all people...
And to put the icing on the cake, my "love life" is a rollercoaster ride, again, and it's making me sick to my stomach. All I want it for someone to be there for me, for someone not to toy with my heart or play games with me or lie to me. Honestly, is that asking for so much? I can't even remember the last time I was happy being with another person. The only thing I do remember is the tears and the arguing, and it's horrible that those are the only memories I really have of a relationship, or a relationSHIT as I like to call it. :sigh:
I cried for the 1st time in months about an hour ago, and it made me feel so.. pathetic. I mean sure, it feels good to let everything out every once in a while, but the only thing I feel right now is defeat. I feel like I'm failing at everything, at my relationships, at my job, at life in general. I feel like I'm going nowhere, like I'm going to be working at a fucking video store for the rest of my miserable existance... I wish I had a blunt right now. Anything to take the edge off..
xo
I feel so out of touch with my best friend, and living 3,000 miles away from her definetly doesn't help. I love knowing that even though we're so far apart we can still stay so close, but on days like this, I wish she were here with me more than ever, and it makes everything so much worse.
My tailbone is bruised, and the rest of my body feels like it's going to collapse at any given moment. I want nothing more than to just sleep for as long as humanly possible and stay in bed and relax all day, but with 2 of my co-workers quitting this week, the pressure is on for the rest of us to fill in their hours, and therefore I can't even take a day off even to regain my strength.
My mom is completely refusing to help me with my shitty money situation now, and I'm not entirely sure why. She was fine with me all day, but the moment I mentioned that my cell phone was out of minutes, she did a complete 180 and started acting like a total cunt. I don't get it. I help her out with money all the time, for rent, for food, for gas, and she hardly ever pays me back. But she can't do the same for me? It just doesn't make sense to me how selfish and inconsiderate some people can be, especially my mother of all people...
And to put the icing on the cake, my "love life" is a rollercoaster ride, again, and it's making me sick to my stomach. All I want it for someone to be there for me, for someone not to toy with my heart or play games with me or lie to me. Honestly, is that asking for so much? I can't even remember the last time I was happy being with another person. The only thing I do remember is the tears and the arguing, and it's horrible that those are the only memories I really have of a relationship, or a relationSHIT as I like to call it. :sigh:
I cried for the 1st time in months about an hour ago, and it made me feel so.. pathetic. I mean sure, it feels good to let everything out every once in a while, but the only thing I feel right now is defeat. I feel like I'm failing at everything, at my relationships, at my job, at life in general. I feel like I'm going nowhere, like I'm going to be working at a fucking video store for the rest of my miserable existance... I wish I had a blunt right now. Anything to take the edge off..
xo
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Spakkk it up! sorry its not real, but i guess its the though that counts i guess, well, hope you feel better and may the blunt be with you