bite

Motivate me? I'm enjoying this summer for real, that part is true. It's nice to meet new people, make new friends and do a whole lot of other things. But the last couple of days I didn't feel like doing anything and I've been very emotional. Quite some things are going on in my head, I just need some time to adjust to the new situation, I guess. I could've done so many things, but instead I kept refreshing the same pages in Firefox all day and watched some movies, next to cleaning almost the entire house within 30 minutes and doing groceries. I wish I had some inspiration. I'm just tired, though I have enough sleep at night. I'm not tired psychically, but emotionally.

Many, many things have changed in the last year. The way I look, how people treat me on the streets, how I feel about myself, the way I'm able to handle school, I got a job, I broke up with my ex after five years and I'm finally with the one who I've been loving for over a year now. I became more stronger than I already was and really changed a whole lot in my life. (I don't want to get too much into details, then I'd better write a book instead of a blog).

My boyfriend Bas told me last night, as I crashed down, that I need to take the time to get used to that first... It just sucks that now finally my life seems okay, I'm once again being dragged down by memories and old emotions. I cannot stand it. I've never been more happy, but it'll take a while before all that happened will fade away and get it's place in my crowded head. I thought it did, but as always, I was being way to busy with other things and now I have the time to deal with that. I need hugs and icecream.