"In my novel Choke, there's a waiter who ruins the food of any customers who jerk him around," he says, suddenly enthusiastic again. "He pees in the soup - that kind of thing. Last year, I was staying in [a very posh hotel here in London that we won't name for libel reasons] and, after a book event, one of the waiters said to me, 'Yes, that's totally true.' So I asked him what the worst thing he had ever done was. He said, 'No, no, I can't tell you about that,' but I insisted and, very quietly, he said, 'Margaret Thatcher has eaten my sperm.' I was just astonished, but he added, 'At least five times.'" I would be prepared to bet that not even the late Denis Thatcher could make that claim.
this is the type of information that tends to interest me most, as it appeals so graciously to my puerile sensibilities.
