it's not working. nope. i hate everyone here. fuck everyone. no, seriously. it's like goddamn high school. it's like...i like this town so why can't i just like it. why does everyone have to go and ruin it. why do i LET people ruin it. i swear to god i dont need anyone.
people try to act like they're mature about shit when they're not.
i'm sick of being found in a crowd. i want to be lost...i want to dissappear...
carly's right. i need dreams. crazy dreams. dreams where i'm completely independent of anyone. dreams like my cross-country roadtrip on the Greyhound with a fake bus pass and no real destination. i'll just be that weird dirty girl that rides the bus for hours with her headphones on. sleeping and seeing and writing and dreaming.... about cities and landscapes and beautiful people. who shine from inside and leave an outstanding impression - i can ride away before they let me down. and keep communication open, through words and ink blots and homemade stationary.
that's not too crazy.
don't believe that i don't dream about being in love. madly and desperately too. but now is not the time or place for that. if it happened i wouldn't drive it away. but i'm done with trying too hard and i'm done with making excuses. i'm done with being dependent.
i'm actually quite tough, when it gets right down to it. but i've got nothing to prove to you. i don't need to.
people try to act like they're mature about shit when they're not.
i'm sick of being found in a crowd. i want to be lost...i want to dissappear...
carly's right. i need dreams. crazy dreams. dreams where i'm completely independent of anyone. dreams like my cross-country roadtrip on the Greyhound with a fake bus pass and no real destination. i'll just be that weird dirty girl that rides the bus for hours with her headphones on. sleeping and seeing and writing and dreaming.... about cities and landscapes and beautiful people. who shine from inside and leave an outstanding impression - i can ride away before they let me down. and keep communication open, through words and ink blots and homemade stationary.
that's not too crazy.
don't believe that i don't dream about being in love. madly and desperately too. but now is not the time or place for that. if it happened i wouldn't drive it away. but i'm done with trying too hard and i'm done with making excuses. i'm done with being dependent.
i'm actually quite tough, when it gets right down to it. but i've got nothing to prove to you. i don't need to.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
For me I go back to a time in my memory when I felt that connection with nature. I know it's cheesy to use the nature word, but I really believe that a lot of the disconnection I feel with other people is really my disconnection with the natural world. Anyway.
If you can recall and live in a memory of your greatest peace or connection; just for a moment, it can serve as an amazing counter force within you. It'll start as the smallest of voices but once you give it its' moment of attention, you'll see it won't leave. You can use that little voice to get angry at the other voice that is perpetuating the bad feelings.
The point of the exercise is to separate you from the thoughts that are causing the grief. To back away from them and rise above them, kicking as you do. The brilliant part of this whole thing is that any thoughts that go through your head that cause you grief, WILL THEMSELVES become the enemy; and no longer will you agree with those thoughts that cause you distress.
I totally got carried away there. At least you know that relative strangers care about your well being.
I'm down for the cross-country bus trip with you. I went to san francisco last year by myself. It was great. I was the dirty boy in the back with his headphones and drawing pad.
Your dreams give you something to look forward to at times like these. I know it's a bit cliche, but dreams are what seperate "real" people from "fake" people. You're not really alive if you don't dream, even if it doesn't come true. If that made any sense at all.