birdee

yeah um..fuck that last post..last night i found out my boyfriend has been carrying on this stupid online flirting thing with this girl for weeks..he sent her mix tapes, and last fri. she apparently sent him brownies (fucking PUKE)..how did i find this out, i spontaneously decided to snoop in his e-mail (i know it's awful, but i guess there was some reason behind it) and found these fucking novel-length e-mails back and forth to eachother & i couldn't read it all, i thought my heart was gonna burst out of my chest..i just read enough to see that she sent him pictures and an explicit e-mail (or 2) and in one e-mail he told her he thought about her when her heard this fucking beatles song and then later when he listened to this particular led zeppelin song (that he listened to at HOME with ME)..if he was anyone else i would have fucking punched him last night...he stayed home from work today to be with me..and things are sort of better now..we've talked about a lot of things..but jesus christ, i just thought we were so good..and i never would have even considered him capable of doing something so fucking tacky and cheap..i love him a lot, but i hate him for doing this to me