here again after a while. i've had serious problems wih my computer, most of which started when i threw it across the room. i've been thinking it's maybe time to start another one. i also really need to start exploring this site a bit more, commenting on the groups a bit more, and making a few more friends. i'm a bit unsure of the etiquette of it all. do you just send a friend invite to people who look interesting,? or comment on there blogs and pictures and hope they invite you? and once you are friends, what then? comment on their blogs and stuff, sure. is it polite to sent them e-mails? atempt to chat to them? it's all very confusing.
i've also decided to come off the happy pills. i've decided that even feeling as shitty as possible, and hating yourself for everything, is still better than feeling numb. at least it's something. it allows you to do things. it reminds you you are alive, and life is struggle and pain and mess. i know it's going to be difficult to live life. i'm not a nice person. i'm lazy and kind of crap, indulge in far too many of my vices (drink, drugs, sex, being a cynic and hating everything, to name a few). i've managed to alienate most people who care about me, and have lost nearly everyone who i've ever connected with completely, and who i was happy wth. but thats life, and life goes on. it's trying whats counts, not if you make it or not.
one good thing, i've started to write again. it's been a while. a very long time, and it's also part of the reason i want to get another computer. mainly comic scripes, using marvel characters to practice on. i may print some on here i've a can. comics are one of two things to i've loved as long as i remember, the other being roleplay books, the other thing i'm writting. that one is a little more difficult, having left my roleplay group and giving away all my books. oh well. it's something at least.
sorry for the slightly long, confused and depressing post. just the way i'm feeling at the moment. i'll be back to my normal, happy go lucky drunk soon enough.
i've also decided to come off the happy pills. i've decided that even feeling as shitty as possible, and hating yourself for everything, is still better than feeling numb. at least it's something. it allows you to do things. it reminds you you are alive, and life is struggle and pain and mess. i know it's going to be difficult to live life. i'm not a nice person. i'm lazy and kind of crap, indulge in far too many of my vices (drink, drugs, sex, being a cynic and hating everything, to name a few). i've managed to alienate most people who care about me, and have lost nearly everyone who i've ever connected with completely, and who i was happy wth. but thats life, and life goes on. it's trying whats counts, not if you make it or not.
one good thing, i've started to write again. it's been a while. a very long time, and it's also part of the reason i want to get another computer. mainly comic scripes, using marvel characters to practice on. i may print some on here i've a can. comics are one of two things to i've loved as long as i remember, the other being roleplay books, the other thing i'm writting. that one is a little more difficult, having left my roleplay group and giving away all my books. oh well. it's something at least.
sorry for the slightly long, confused and depressing post. just the way i'm feeling at the moment. i'll be back to my normal, happy go lucky drunk soon enough.