bigpappachappa

The love of my life, (we are going to call her "K") and I dicided to break up for the "college experience". I had a tist at the start of the semester only to realize that all I wanted was K. I took a deep searching inventory of what I wanted, how she had changed on her own for the better and how I want my life to go, and realized that she is what I want. Then it came out that she had not actualy changed, and had been lying to me about getting better. We had a series of fights and dicided yesterday that we are going to give each other some real space. we had been in contact because we are best friends but now we decided that we need not to talk for the time off to work. I am losing sight of why the time off is a good idea. I love her and want to be with her, but she has a boyfriend now and even told me that she loves him. I dont know how to process that. I want her to be happy, but it hurts me so much to feel like I am so easily replaced. We will talk again after new years. I hope she will end up feeling like I do but know that she wont. I am begingin to wonder if she is as right for me as I had thought. It will all depend on how long she expects me to be strung along waiting for her. She told me her boyfriend will be leaving at the end of next year. I dont know if my soul can survive alone for that long.