bigman316

how come it is that the only time i update my blog is when i am feeling bad???? it is not my intention to depress people, or make others feel bad also. but sometimes i just need to use this space to attempt to get something that resembles feelings out....... lately it seems i am in the habit of getting advice from people who simply don't get it. that is i have been getting advice from family members, who are convinced that all i have to do is start feeling happy and i my life will be all better. or, as one family member put it to me one day last week, "is life really that bad???". to me, yes, it is. my biggest concern is what do i do??? i could go running back into the hospital, again, since you know,i haven't been there since last month. i have my own coping skills which are not that healthy, that usually involves over medicating myself, and exploring what i can do with razor blades. i used to have a more accessible coping skill, that simply involved what time does happy hour start. today, i feel like i could scream, i feel like i could hit something, i feel like i could sleep for days, i feel like all i want to do is break down and cry. i have no clue how i am getting thru today, i just don't.... sorry to once again be so freakin' cheerful, but i have to attempt to get some of this out of my system. to my friends, thank you for putting up with me. to new friends, i am a pretty decent person when i am feeling better, so don't be scared. to any random reader.... i am always open to advice. peace everyone. d.