Several days have passed. The entire family is back home now. Another cat has been added to the entire menagerie of this crazy place. Therefore, the count is 4 crazy humans, 3 cars, 2 cats with a propencity towards pooping in inappropriate places, and one fucked landlord. Wow. and yet, for the first time in a while, my house felt good to be in last night. Oh yes. Plus I went to bed at a decent hour for once. I like being able to get up at 8 am instead of going to sleep at 8 am. Not having to go into work on my day off rules ass.
Most of the rent has been paid and hopefully my paycheck this week will cover the bulk. Then, money for Atlanta.
The CNY party is going to fucking rule. Rice wine, cute women, and hopefully a fully rammed Jukebox Zen for the bus ride down. I still hate that I gotta take Greyhound to the event and back but there is that little side benefit of being able to drink myself to a point of full intoxication and not having to worry about driving on the roads home. I have a Greyhound bus driver to do that for me!
Every big loss has a small gain.
- Selling Rotten Oranges To People Who Want Fresh -
The female companionship front has become odd. It has gone from me having no females interested in me to lots of girls wanting me, relatively, but none of them being close by. Which is strange to me but also really good. I like knowing I still have it. I just need to figure out how to set it off here in Southeastern Tennessee. The girls here confuse the hell out of me. Very stuck up, very non willing to chill and talk and try. And this isn't just my opinion here. I was talking to MistiDawn last night and she related to me that the girls in Tennesse she heard were mad stuck up and shit. And this is a woman in Kentucky, for fucks sake! I wonder if there is a no dating anyone from Tennessee ban going on that I'm not aware of.
And for the record, were I closer, I'd be trying to chill with MistiDawn. That someone that fucking hot and interesting is single is a travesty. And a sham. And a mockery. But not a travishamockery. Close, but not. What IS a travishamockery is that most girls I know in the scene or online are either too far away for me to fuck with or not willing to talk.
I think about this cause an old flame of mine, sorta, has come back into my life a bit. She and I weren't together when we were both in the same city because of jealous friends and haters in church, but now she wants to be all up ons. So I told her how much I want to fuck her and suck her and love her and have her lead me around like a dildo on a stick. Once she got over the shock of me confessing things like that she basically confessed that she wanted to do much the same to me. We have a mutual attraction to one another, a love of weird shit and a complete and total affection for raunchy reggae and dub and booty house.
Also, as of late, more black girls have been interested in me both here and out in the world. I'm surprised but I'm also mad happy. My "Pimp My Good, Not My Bad" campaign is in high gear and results are happening. And thus is the crux issue:
I had a conversation with another crush last night and her kvetching about how awful she felt about herself and how little she felt she had to offer to the world reminded me so much of myself it made me puke for a moment. She's fucking awesome and I want her to chain me and lead me around and all she could do is tell me why she isn't worthy of dating. I was thinking that if this is me to women, no fucking wonder I can't get a date! That was so fucking unattractive it made me cringe. Now I understand why women say that all they want is a guy with some confidence. It's fucking weird to look at your own personal issues in another light. But I've decided to stop that self depricating shit and go out like I'm a gangster with the world on my shvanz.
I might be a dork but even as a fork I'm cooler then you. Ha.
- End Notes -
1. I'm feeling really lazy after the last few entries. A lot to write is hard to do when your life is boring.
2. The search for an AC adapter for my jukebox zen continues. I want to find one in the freaking metro area that I can pickup instead of having to buy online but considering that this entire fucking state is run on one giant hamster wheel and a horse drawn carriage this might be difficult. To be continued...
3. Downloading music on Soulseek rules. I love it. It makes the days go by faster.
Time to stop. I might add more later. Later all.
Most of the rent has been paid and hopefully my paycheck this week will cover the bulk. Then, money for Atlanta.
The CNY party is going to fucking rule. Rice wine, cute women, and hopefully a fully rammed Jukebox Zen for the bus ride down. I still hate that I gotta take Greyhound to the event and back but there is that little side benefit of being able to drink myself to a point of full intoxication and not having to worry about driving on the roads home. I have a Greyhound bus driver to do that for me!
Every big loss has a small gain.
- Selling Rotten Oranges To People Who Want Fresh -
The female companionship front has become odd. It has gone from me having no females interested in me to lots of girls wanting me, relatively, but none of them being close by. Which is strange to me but also really good. I like knowing I still have it. I just need to figure out how to set it off here in Southeastern Tennessee. The girls here confuse the hell out of me. Very stuck up, very non willing to chill and talk and try. And this isn't just my opinion here. I was talking to MistiDawn last night and she related to me that the girls in Tennesse she heard were mad stuck up and shit. And this is a woman in Kentucky, for fucks sake! I wonder if there is a no dating anyone from Tennessee ban going on that I'm not aware of.
And for the record, were I closer, I'd be trying to chill with MistiDawn. That someone that fucking hot and interesting is single is a travesty. And a sham. And a mockery. But not a travishamockery. Close, but not. What IS a travishamockery is that most girls I know in the scene or online are either too far away for me to fuck with or not willing to talk.
I think about this cause an old flame of mine, sorta, has come back into my life a bit. She and I weren't together when we were both in the same city because of jealous friends and haters in church, but now she wants to be all up ons. So I told her how much I want to fuck her and suck her and love her and have her lead me around like a dildo on a stick. Once she got over the shock of me confessing things like that she basically confessed that she wanted to do much the same to me. We have a mutual attraction to one another, a love of weird shit and a complete and total affection for raunchy reggae and dub and booty house.
Also, as of late, more black girls have been interested in me both here and out in the world. I'm surprised but I'm also mad happy. My "Pimp My Good, Not My Bad" campaign is in high gear and results are happening. And thus is the crux issue:
I had a conversation with another crush last night and her kvetching about how awful she felt about herself and how little she felt she had to offer to the world reminded me so much of myself it made me puke for a moment. She's fucking awesome and I want her to chain me and lead me around and all she could do is tell me why she isn't worthy of dating. I was thinking that if this is me to women, no fucking wonder I can't get a date! That was so fucking unattractive it made me cringe. Now I understand why women say that all they want is a guy with some confidence. It's fucking weird to look at your own personal issues in another light. But I've decided to stop that self depricating shit and go out like I'm a gangster with the world on my shvanz.
I might be a dork but even as a fork I'm cooler then you. Ha.
- End Notes -
1. I'm feeling really lazy after the last few entries. A lot to write is hard to do when your life is boring.
2. The search for an AC adapter for my jukebox zen continues. I want to find one in the freaking metro area that I can pickup instead of having to buy online but considering that this entire fucking state is run on one giant hamster wheel and a horse drawn carriage this might be difficult. To be continued...
3. Downloading music on Soulseek rules. I love it. It makes the days go by faster.
Time to stop. I might add more later. Later all.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
trust me, you don't want that
(damn, she really did prove my point about japanophile girls after all, huh?)
[Edited on Feb 07, 2005 12:35PM]