bigblack81

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
--from "Bill Withers - Lean On Me"

I write these words as I listen to this song and tears run down my face. I have food growing cold, time is tight, I go to a tech job (hopefully) this afternoon and I work my seventh straight night in a row tonight. I'm high on the clear, cold and tired and I'm crying. I'm crying because I've just realised something: Though I'm alone right now, I DO have good friends around. A lot of times I feel I'm alone and I don't relate to anyone but then I think of Walter. I think of Cristin. I think of Rilee. I think of all those who give enough of a shit about me to listen. To give me a sounding board. I think of all of this and it makes me cry. I wish I had more friends who could do this. I wish I had more friends I could do this for. I'm tired of people offering to do things for me as a friend and then recinding their ends of the deal.

I want someone to lean on. I want someone to lean on me. I'm tired of trying to deal with fear. I'm just tired.

More later. Mabye.