I'm here, my back hurts and I've not written in a while. Seems the perfect time to bust out an entry. Yup.
- Going Home... -
I got the funding from my grandmother and I will be leaving for home Tuesday afternoon, the day before my birthday. By 9 pm eastern time, I'll be hopefully bellied up to my old bar in the Elm City, having a drink with my family in a bar for the first time. I want to go home to New Haven so bad.
It sucks being alone without a lot of friends down here and the idea that I'll go home to see the crews, both my fam and the East Whalley Ave. crew, makes me all happy and giggly inside. I want to show them my braids, the fact that I've lost weight, and that I now am not such a prissy bitch. Hell, if we meet a slutty girl who wants it, I might even get it on without worrying now. Change is good.
I also want to see my real family, specifically my mom. I miss her a lot and she misses me. We're all going to do something for my birthday then my grandmother is going to leave for Baltimore the next morning. Life is good.
I do hope, however, to be able to meet some SGCT people. One person in particular I'd like to meet as we've talked some online and she is the kind of girl I'd be crushing on if I saw her in person. Here's to hoping her and I meet...
- Making Money -
To that end, I'm working a lot this week before I go. I worked last night and surpassed my personal best in tips made. I made nearly one third of my rent in one day on the clock. 3 more days even remotely close to this and my holiday trip will be a blast AND I'll still have money to pay my bills this month. Thankfully, I'll be back for the cash money days out of this year and I'll be definitely bringing it in.
That's not to say that my job ISN'T a bitch. My back hurts a lot now and my ankles are very sore all the time. I need some athletic tape and I need to lose weight. All the running and all the stacker 2's and 3's I do give me the energy but they also cause a lot more insomnia then I like.
Plus, things between Amy and I haven't really improved. She's someone I want to love off the clock but I despise working with her so much that it makes it hard to do shifts with her. The fact that Kenny, my lecherous but hard working cook NARC, and I see eye to eye on a lot of stuff now that he understands what bullshit goes on here under the table just complicates matters. I would never go out to drinks with Kenny but I'd damned sure work with him as he gives me a fighting chance to make money and because we both want to make money and be productive it appears as if I'm brownnosing to the rest of the staff. But i'm not. I just want to make money and we both agree on that. I'm just tired of babysitting a princesstual brat like Amy. At least she could kiss me before she fucks me over...
So my job is profitable...and hellish. Such is my business.
- MySpace.com -
I've gotten onto myspace and I've got some interesting results. Apparently I was right after all; there are a lot of freaks down here and there is a vibrancy to the area but it's dulled by the fact that so many people hate to drive down here and don't want to travel distances to do things. Talking to some of the girls who are single on the site and rapping with one of them in particular has made me realize just how much of a clusterfuck Tennessee is.
Then again, it does make people respect other people's boundaries more. People know the idea of distance here. I just don't like to be so far out of the way without being able to drive. It makes it hard for me because I wouldn't mind travelling the distance for cool people. I want to be able to find geek girls and date them, I want to have drinks and hang out, I want to be a socially adept being.
Thanks to myspace and SG, I might be beginning to figure this hell of a region out. And who knows? I might find love...or a good fuck buddy...
- End Notes -
1. Mishima's books are so good. I'm about halfway through Forbidden Colors and it's everything I expected it to be. I love post war japanese fiction; it's so brutal yet tender.
2. Why is it that girls watch Lifetime television, the WB and all the psycho female cautionary tales and then bitch about there not being any good guys out there? I ask because my flatmate watches this shit and basically bitchslaps her husband, my other flatmate around and I;m getting sick of it. To me, feminism advanced women's rights and standing here in America and the world but faggots who run Lifetime and the WB set EVERYONE back a good 3000 years. I don't approve of woman hating...but watching this shit makes me understand the vibe. I just wish everyone had more balance...
3. Drugs. Yeah.
4. It's so cold down here that now that my house is empty, again, I will be turning the heat on. Yup.
That's it for now. I'm tired and I want to go lust after the girls on my romantic interest list some more. Later.
- Going Home... -
I got the funding from my grandmother and I will be leaving for home Tuesday afternoon, the day before my birthday. By 9 pm eastern time, I'll be hopefully bellied up to my old bar in the Elm City, having a drink with my family in a bar for the first time. I want to go home to New Haven so bad.
It sucks being alone without a lot of friends down here and the idea that I'll go home to see the crews, both my fam and the East Whalley Ave. crew, makes me all happy and giggly inside. I want to show them my braids, the fact that I've lost weight, and that I now am not such a prissy bitch. Hell, if we meet a slutty girl who wants it, I might even get it on without worrying now. Change is good.
I also want to see my real family, specifically my mom. I miss her a lot and she misses me. We're all going to do something for my birthday then my grandmother is going to leave for Baltimore the next morning. Life is good.
I do hope, however, to be able to meet some SGCT people. One person in particular I'd like to meet as we've talked some online and she is the kind of girl I'd be crushing on if I saw her in person. Here's to hoping her and I meet...
- Making Money -
To that end, I'm working a lot this week before I go. I worked last night and surpassed my personal best in tips made. I made nearly one third of my rent in one day on the clock. 3 more days even remotely close to this and my holiday trip will be a blast AND I'll still have money to pay my bills this month. Thankfully, I'll be back for the cash money days out of this year and I'll be definitely bringing it in.
That's not to say that my job ISN'T a bitch. My back hurts a lot now and my ankles are very sore all the time. I need some athletic tape and I need to lose weight. All the running and all the stacker 2's and 3's I do give me the energy but they also cause a lot more insomnia then I like.
Plus, things between Amy and I haven't really improved. She's someone I want to love off the clock but I despise working with her so much that it makes it hard to do shifts with her. The fact that Kenny, my lecherous but hard working cook NARC, and I see eye to eye on a lot of stuff now that he understands what bullshit goes on here under the table just complicates matters. I would never go out to drinks with Kenny but I'd damned sure work with him as he gives me a fighting chance to make money and because we both want to make money and be productive it appears as if I'm brownnosing to the rest of the staff. But i'm not. I just want to make money and we both agree on that. I'm just tired of babysitting a princesstual brat like Amy. At least she could kiss me before she fucks me over...
So my job is profitable...and hellish. Such is my business.
- MySpace.com -
I've gotten onto myspace and I've got some interesting results. Apparently I was right after all; there are a lot of freaks down here and there is a vibrancy to the area but it's dulled by the fact that so many people hate to drive down here and don't want to travel distances to do things. Talking to some of the girls who are single on the site and rapping with one of them in particular has made me realize just how much of a clusterfuck Tennessee is.
Then again, it does make people respect other people's boundaries more. People know the idea of distance here. I just don't like to be so far out of the way without being able to drive. It makes it hard for me because I wouldn't mind travelling the distance for cool people. I want to be able to find geek girls and date them, I want to have drinks and hang out, I want to be a socially adept being.
Thanks to myspace and SG, I might be beginning to figure this hell of a region out. And who knows? I might find love...or a good fuck buddy...
- End Notes -
1. Mishima's books are so good. I'm about halfway through Forbidden Colors and it's everything I expected it to be. I love post war japanese fiction; it's so brutal yet tender.
2. Why is it that girls watch Lifetime television, the WB and all the psycho female cautionary tales and then bitch about there not being any good guys out there? I ask because my flatmate watches this shit and basically bitchslaps her husband, my other flatmate around and I;m getting sick of it. To me, feminism advanced women's rights and standing here in America and the world but faggots who run Lifetime and the WB set EVERYONE back a good 3000 years. I don't approve of woman hating...but watching this shit makes me understand the vibe. I just wish everyone had more balance...
3. Drugs. Yeah.
4. It's so cold down here that now that my house is empty, again, I will be turning the heat on. Yup.
That's it for now. I'm tired and I want to go lust after the girls on my romantic interest list some more. Later.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 12:35AM]
Yeah, you're right about "getting what you come here for." You came here for nakkidness... I didn't. I came for people watching and trying to understand what is passing through the minds of so many people. It's great for that.
And if this is someone's life, heck, it's sad, but everyone needs a place to be themself. No denying we all need people to prop us up when we get hit, or that it doesn't sting when someone dumps on us in quarkworld.
But a careful read shows there's only one and a half paragraphs about SG. The rest extends everywhere we take ourselves. Read it again in that context and it means something different.
Which is why you were conflicted, I think.
[Edited on Dec 19, 2004 11:12AM]