bigblack81

First entry in a bit. Finally feel emotionally stable enough to do one. Some business, then some ranting.

First and foremost, the new profile pic of me was done completely in photoshop. I took a stock photo of me and then just fucked around with it till I got the look I wanted. I could tell you many of the procedures involved but I'd much rather have someone I can guide and tutor. A pretty graphic design female mayhaps... ;D

I'll be posting more pics of me in photoshop and some of the girls I like in the future. The method I used was very nice and I think this photo is the start of a new style for me.

Next, I didn't go to the strip club Friday night. Apparently my crew needed to take our hookup to work after we parted for the break and both of their phones went dead. Between that and the jiggling boobies obscuring their views, they just plain forgot about me. But according to my main man Dukie, the place was average at best and wasn;t that great besides. So other then getting the source photo for the new profile pic that night, the entire night was only good for the conversation I had on the boards here about strip club ettiquette. And for that, I'm somewhat glad.

Now. More rejections. 4 in 60 hours, including, the daughter of a co-worker who has sworn off dating because she is in the middle of heartbreak. The violins of my nightmares, people, are the sounds of a woman swearing off dating because she is hurt. I'm finding so much wreckage in the world that it makes me very sad and very lonely at times to deal with it all. Days go by and I don't get a hug, a kiss, even a "are you fucking alive?" from people. It takes it's toll.

Mostly though, I'm still trying to figure women out both online and off. Tough luck you say? Well, yes and no. Some constructs have begun to poke their heads out of the sand, including 2 that trouble me immensely.

First, most girls online are neurotic as hell. The ones who aren't don't stay long. This is not bashing, this is truth. This is the truth that almost everyone online knows but no one really talks about. I've forgotten for a long time my theory of online interaction as it's the place for sociopathic tendencies to manifest themselves. For guys, this is normal but for the girls I'm noticing that this mutates into strange shit. SG girls define this, for me and I know this will piss people off that I feel like this but I just do. I've evidence that supports this and for me, that's all that matters.

Secondly, most girls I know now want attention, not affection. My crush last night drove me fucking insane at work because she was lonely and bored. But to ask her to bed with me...I don't even want to think about that. I wish more people had the courage to just admit that they are lonely and be willing to chance things to change that. But so long as people are ambigious in dating profiles and touch and go in relating to people, blunt direct people like me will fall to the wayside.

But thus is my life. Thanks for the comments and the new friends. Hopefully some girl will see this and think i'm a keeper for once. Hopefully. More after work.