So I get tattooed in a week.. I'm excited.. Prolly going to be playing paintball this weekend.. I'm really excited for that.. There is something exciting about being able to shoot people, but yet, not get arrested for it.. Fantastic.. I saw Pirates of the Caribean 2 the otherday.. IT was really good although I never saw the 1st one..
For some reason, I'm just feeling like I dont belong anywhere.. I'm about 3 weeks away from having the 1st knee surgery I've been putting off for a few years now.. It's not so much that, that is bringing me down.. I went out to eat with this girl who I've known since I was 4 years old, we grew up together, we lost touch for about a year or 2, so we're making up for it.. She is telling me how negative my ex is anymore.. And how she and most of the other friends can't stand to be around my ex because of her negativity.. And I can't really help but to really want to bare the weight of this because yes my ex had emotional and self inflicting problems when we were together, and all I ever heard from her mother was " Oh you make her so happy, etc, etc ".. And it bares alot onto me, and makes me feel like a complete piece of shit because I hurt her on so many levels, but I know what I did was the right thing to do, it just sucks that I hear alot about how happy I use to make her, and how she misses me being with her sexually and physically, and it just wears down on my self esteem making me feel like shit on a shoe.. I hope this doesnt last to long, I tried to be nice to her afterwards, and was, but only ever received bitterness up until today.. She's very angry towards me, even though I appologized ( which I dont think I should of had to do ) but, ever since then, it just seems like my whole word has changed, including my social standings with people.. Damnit, I thought this was supposed to be a new year, new me, no more of this shit, but apparently, the same shit carries over into the new year.. son of a bitch..
For some reason, I'm just feeling like I dont belong anywhere.. I'm about 3 weeks away from having the 1st knee surgery I've been putting off for a few years now.. It's not so much that, that is bringing me down.. I went out to eat with this girl who I've known since I was 4 years old, we grew up together, we lost touch for about a year or 2, so we're making up for it.. She is telling me how negative my ex is anymore.. And how she and most of the other friends can't stand to be around my ex because of her negativity.. And I can't really help but to really want to bare the weight of this because yes my ex had emotional and self inflicting problems when we were together, and all I ever heard from her mother was " Oh you make her so happy, etc, etc ".. And it bares alot onto me, and makes me feel like a complete piece of shit because I hurt her on so many levels, but I know what I did was the right thing to do, it just sucks that I hear alot about how happy I use to make her, and how she misses me being with her sexually and physically, and it just wears down on my self esteem making me feel like shit on a shoe.. I hope this doesnt last to long, I tried to be nice to her afterwards, and was, but only ever received bitterness up until today.. She's very angry towards me, even though I appologized ( which I dont think I should of had to do ) but, ever since then, it just seems like my whole word has changed, including my social standings with people.. Damnit, I thought this was supposed to be a new year, new me, no more of this shit, but apparently, the same shit carries over into the new year.. son of a bitch..
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
tinyhobo:
Nah..gotta work that monday.
lizzi:
It is a new year! It's not too late for it to turn around! Good luck witht the surgery and have fun getting tattooed! xoxo