you know i kinda know where you're coming from....i've been with this girl for 9yrs and it's always been a struggle......you give them the benefit of the doubt but you just get shit on.....just like you i'm realizing that it's okay to make yourself happy and after 8yrs why is it still a struggle.....faithfull is good.....but some people just don't have respect....
drop the guy and cry your eyes out... and surround yourself with positive successful people.
Good luck and be safe!