Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

bettydoll

Member Since 2006

Followers 114 Following 88

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Jan 24, 2007

Jan 23, 2007
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
So ive been spending this morning reading about wicca, and admiring Cherry cus shes such a great photagrapher.
Sometimes I wish i put more energy into photography but like... Yeah.. Idunno, i just think i do have a talent.
Shes SO talented that girl tho. I really admire her work.

Ive had a marathontalk with my man, and like, yeah, it was lovely, it went on for four days, and yesterday when we were in the bathroom smoking a joint, cus like, if we dont do it in the bathroom the staff will come in and tell us the whole first floor STINKS of hash and well, yeah so we smoke hash in the bathroom when its befor 9pm
He told me he belives im growing up.
And it made me thinking.... It made me thinking ALOT actually. Cus other times, when people told me im growing up, or i need to grow up or anything with entering the adult world, i almost pissed my pants of fear.
But now im like. "Yeah, so fucking what?" Im looking foward to growing up, Im looking foward to trying my wings for real, i might crash, but then its just to try again, and he also said that, that thats something i do, i ALWAYS "get back on the horse" as soon as i can. I never had anyone who pointed out my good qualities, always just "erh, youre so sad" "Youve been pretty down lately" and shit like that, i never had anyone who TRULY belived in ME:
They always belived in their own streinght that they would be my SAVIOUR, so i asked Tobias "Do you want to save me?" he answerd that that was not his intentions with this realtionship at all, and it just made me so happy to hear.

Im so glad his mine, im so glad im his.
I can feel im growing for each day that goes by. I belive more and more in my own powers and my own streinght, and i KNOW that i will be good, I will be good for him, and he IS good for me.

And in a coupple of weeks, maybe i have gatherd some energy to like, explore this town, id love to just walk around looking at the pretty buildings, cus copenhagen does have pretty buildings and they draw on the buildings and i just love it so much i cant get enough. Maybe find a favourite cafe,
I dont even feel like drinking anymore. So like, i WAS thinking the thought of finding a favorite bar, but then i thought, "WTF am I gonna do at a bar?" I mean... I just lose ctrl and go insane and madness takes over... its just not that cool anymore.
I mean... No. I pity myself for what i used to be like, for the amount of alcohol i used to drink, for the concious uncounciosness?? Like, i could walk,talk keep drinking, but i was really gone. I had lost grip of reality long time ago, i was somewhere else.
So, yeah i just think drinking is such a pathethic thing to do with your self, its really just punnishing your body, atleast if you do it the way im used to, and thats pretty much the way everyone i know drinks, i dont know anyone who drinks smart. So how was i supposed to learn how to?
I keept telling myself that it was just a matter of practicing and id get it. Id understand how youd know when u reached your limit. But im so fucking fed up with it i cant stand the thought of even smelling a bottle of booze.

And im so glad i came to this conclusion, cus it really REALLY used to be a real problem for me. And with all the alcoholics ive got in my family i... when i was 14 i had never been near a bottle. I promised myself i wouldnt even taste the champange on my own wedding cus i knew what alchol did to people. My own granma fucking threw my into one of those things that heats up the rooms and usually in sweden are really sharp and hard and said Ishould never bother her like her like that again cus i asked if she wanted to go to the beach with me. And like yeah.
Something went wrong. I started drinking. And allready at early age id lose grip of reality cus i was holding on to the bottles instead.

Thats actually how i began to be so honest people understood there was something deeper going on than just teenagedepression.

So. YAY for a sober new year!
(Ill stick to the drugs LOL)
frolleinsuzy:
Its great that you feel so positive, sweetheart. kiss
Jan 23, 2007
ta2dmom:
I think it's great that you've thought about the drinking and realized what it does to you and learned that you don't want to be that person anymore. That's a major step. Especially when things have been as difficult for you as they had been. Congratulations. That's awesome for you.
xoxo
kiss
Jan 23, 2007

More Blogs

  • 03.11.07
    4

    Sunday Mar 11, 2007

    "Just imagine gettin that tattooed and THEN start antipsychotic pills…
  • 02.28.07
    3

    Thursday Mar 01, 2007

    ome... Hi. Sup. Well, theres not much news over here i guess... …
  • 02.26.07
    1

    Monday Feb 26, 2007

    Read More
  • 02.12.07
    3

    Tuesday Feb 13, 2007

    Read More
  • 02.12.07
    0

    Monday Feb 12, 2007

    I cant be botherd rolling my morningjoint. Does that make me more or …
  • 02.10.07
    3

    Sunday Feb 11, 2007

    Sholepelepelep Hoipefully my mum will send the computer over here to…
  • 02.06.07
    1

    Tuesday Feb 06, 2007

    Im well fucked up right now A conversation (as far as i can remember…
  • 02.03.07
    1

    Sunday Feb 04, 2007

    Read More
  • 02.01.07
    2

    Friday Feb 02, 2007

    Read More
  • 01.31.07
    2

    Thursday Feb 01, 2007

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
4
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,597 SuicideGirls
  • 1,117,572 followers
  • 14,936,958 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,435,114 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo