i have so many mixed emotions lately i feel like an ocean with multiple currents
i'm excited cause i'm going to THIS next weekend
I love being Head Ref but honestly part of me just wants to throw in the towel and be an official that's it. No head. No dealing with other people's bullshit.
I am learning that despite someone's potential, it's not my responsibility to make sure they reach that potential, and at the end of the day we all have potential, it's our own choice whether or not we decide to reach it.
And I hate that
Fucking hate it
Which leads me to realizing I can be a bit of a control freak
Not because I want to dominate, more because I have this need to elevate people.
And I know that it's not my job or responsibility and I hate that there are people who choose not to realize their potential.
That's all I'm saying.
I've had a few glasses of wine (I don't drink much anymore) and my head is all over the place.
Realizing I'm not a failure because the people I am "in charge of" choose to not realize their potential and make stupid decisions is liberating but it also sucks.
On another note, here's a funny (or annoying depending on how you look at it) story.
I believe anything worth having is worth fighting for, it's what I was raised to believe.
Our girls lost their regular practice space in the very beginning of July. We now have a place to practice and bout on Saturdays, but have been in city parks and parking lots for the past few months. On Thursday, another city official came and said there were signs saying we couldn't practice there.
There are signs saying "no skateboarding" but not signs saying "no skating" there are signs saying "no group events without a permit" but there is a basketball group that meets up and plays every tuesday and has been for 20 years (if they're not a group event neither are we).
I'm not a skater. I'm an official.
Yet I felt like the only one who wanted to say "hold on, no you're wrong lady."
I said "we need to do what skateboarders did in the 80s and 90s" and I get blank stares.
I explain how skateboarders (or at lest the ones I knew) skated everywhere they could that said "no skating" and they got tickets, and they went to court and they asked for a trial by jury and they bogged the court systems down and forced cities to build skate parks.
And I get a grin and a giggle.
What happened to the idealists? What happened to people who actually give enough of a shit about ANYTHING that they're willing to take a risk?
Or am I just old and my "Fight the power" ideals are something that people only dig as lyrics in songs now?
Can you tell I was raised by a couple of flower children? Hahaha
And there's a reason I always liked telling hippies how much they have in common with punks and vice versa.
i'm excited cause i'm going to THIS next weekend
I love being Head Ref but honestly part of me just wants to throw in the towel and be an official that's it. No head. No dealing with other people's bullshit.
I am learning that despite someone's potential, it's not my responsibility to make sure they reach that potential, and at the end of the day we all have potential, it's our own choice whether or not we decide to reach it.
And I hate that
Fucking hate it
Which leads me to realizing I can be a bit of a control freak
Not because I want to dominate, more because I have this need to elevate people.
And I know that it's not my job or responsibility and I hate that there are people who choose not to realize their potential.
That's all I'm saying.
I've had a few glasses of wine (I don't drink much anymore) and my head is all over the place.
Realizing I'm not a failure because the people I am "in charge of" choose to not realize their potential and make stupid decisions is liberating but it also sucks.
On another note, here's a funny (or annoying depending on how you look at it) story.
I believe anything worth having is worth fighting for, it's what I was raised to believe.
Our girls lost their regular practice space in the very beginning of July. We now have a place to practice and bout on Saturdays, but have been in city parks and parking lots for the past few months. On Thursday, another city official came and said there were signs saying we couldn't practice there.
There are signs saying "no skateboarding" but not signs saying "no skating" there are signs saying "no group events without a permit" but there is a basketball group that meets up and plays every tuesday and has been for 20 years (if they're not a group event neither are we).
I'm not a skater. I'm an official.
Yet I felt like the only one who wanted to say "hold on, no you're wrong lady."
I said "we need to do what skateboarders did in the 80s and 90s" and I get blank stares.
I explain how skateboarders (or at lest the ones I knew) skated everywhere they could that said "no skating" and they got tickets, and they went to court and they asked for a trial by jury and they bogged the court systems down and forced cities to build skate parks.
And I get a grin and a giggle.
What happened to the idealists? What happened to people who actually give enough of a shit about ANYTHING that they're willing to take a risk?
Or am I just old and my "Fight the power" ideals are something that people only dig as lyrics in songs now?
Can you tell I was raised by a couple of flower children? Hahaha
And there's a reason I always liked telling hippies how much they have in common with punks and vice versa.
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Thank you for your sweet words.
Your opinion matters a lot.
And...
It makes me feel successful at SOMETHING.
(p.s. video montages most welcome - we need to go back top those old SG days of tape mix swaps)
And, thank you. You rock.