I have some strong opinions about Christmas songs. I’ve been listening to Christmas music at least 40 hours a week since Thanksgiving (yay retail!) and I’ve developed some deeper understandings about these songs that are supposed to encourage us to do Christmas stuff like wassail and tell ghost stories and everyone rings bells. I wish the ringing would stop. Christmas songs are fucked up sometimes. Like “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is so date rape-y that I am starting to call it, “Baby, does this smell like chloroform to you?” I do like “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” because it’s like an anti-bullying Christmas themed campaign. He’s like the Nemo of Christmas. “Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer” is just a cover-up. The song I have the biggest beef about is Frosty the Snowman. This ice elemental uses his magic to try and lure children into oncoming traffic! Some say that he was too dumb to actually know better but I can see through his snowy white bullshit. And that’s what’s on my mind when I daydream at work. :)
