beta

Whatever you want from me, whatever you want I'll do
Try to squeeze a drop of blood from a sugarcube

Try to be more assured, try to be more right there
Try to be less uptight, try to be more aware
Whatever you want from me, is what I want to do for you
Sweeter than a drop of blood from a sugarcube

And though I like to act the part of being tough
I crumble like a sugarcube for you

Whatever you want from me, whatever you want I'll do
I will try
--yo la tengo


**YEAH OKAY, quoting song lyrics is like pretty much the lamest thing anyone can do.



i've been sort of busy these past weeks, combining forces with my siblings to provide counsel for my parents. it appears as though my dad is going through a mid-life crisis, and has spontaneously decided to voice his 25-year stint of unhappiness with my mother jthese past few months. affairs have been unearthed, hearts have been broken, living wills have been re-drafted, jewelry has been given back, tears have been shed. it's been a mess. enough of that jazz.
i digress...



i have neglected to tell y'all that i am a surgeon. sure, i'm not board-certified or anything, but really, who is these days? why, just the other day i removed an ingrown hair from throatneedle's skin that had been impacted. good thing my psycho roommate has a full dissection kit in the bathroom. scapel, STAT!
i am very specialized, i focus on removals only. have a splinter? an ingrown hair? a.....splinter? i have scalpels and steady hands. STAT!



okay, i know that my pretty kitten wasabi is always featured in my journal in ADORABLE recumbant poses, his freakin ADORABLE footsies all curled up and quiet...the truth is, he is a mother-fucking BAD ASS cat.
no joke. he is a baaaaaaad kitty. of all of his antics (including, cup tipping, glass shattering, bra/tank top/hoodie drawstring biting-OFF, random ingestion of bad things) his habit of violently spilling his water dish PISSES me off the most. you see, no matter how you combat this habit--weighting down his dish, changing dishes, getting water jugs with reservoir bottoms and then weighting them down with 10lb free weights, the little bastard manages to spill (ON PURPOSE!) about 1 gallon of water approximately every 2 days. and you probably think i don't punish my cat? oh hellz yes i do. i practically carry a spray bottle in a holster, ready and willing to squirt his ass when he does something bad. the problem? he likes it. sadistic little kitten.



beware of perverts

so this morning, in a horny frenzy, i sent throatneedle a sexy-time e-mail to his work e-mail account. i wonder if he can get in trouble for that? oh geez, that would be embarrassing.

well, i guess i should get back to work at my oh my gosh so lame job.

pace.

-desiree

**************


i get to see this jerkface tomorrow.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥