bess

Okay, so I go grocery shopping and I'm getting out of my car, and this lady comes up to me and she goes, "I was waiting for that fucking spot."

I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you."

"So are you gonna fucking move?" she asks me.

Mind you, I was minding my own business and totally shocked that she accosted me like this, so I simply said, "No."

"You got a lot of fucking class, bitch. You better watch when you come out," she told me.

I was like ! So, you know what I did? Normally, I would have been all like, don't yell at me. I'll move, O Powerful One. Just don't kick my ass. But I'm through with that! I'm through with it, I tell you! So, I flicked my cigarette at her and said, "Do it now, then. I haven't slept in three nights. I'm pumped on DayQuil and I got mad ghetto skills. I'll crush your head like a snake turd."

She backed off, but I was totally all at myself and I'm thinking, where the fuck did that come from? Snake turd?? I should have just bloody moved. Now, she's gonna have five thugs out here waiting for me, so I shopped like a super monkey and booked!

I'm such a hard ass.