berkleebabe

i'm laying in bed, thinking about all the things that i wish i could do with my life. i've never been the perfect girl, i've never had the best body, only the body of a fucking horseback riding, waterpolo playing, buff chick, that makes me sick. just once would i like to be the pretty, skinny girl. having self esteem problems my whole life doesnt help at all, especially being surrounded by some of the most gorgeous girls in my area. it also doesnt help that i work in the music industry, where, if you are a girl, you have to be perfect, even in the business side of the music world. how much does that suck? a lot.


so, ive decided that im gunna start changing all of that, and im only giving myself a certain number of months to get it accomplished. its just a way to make myself feel better, i dont care what other people think...ok yea i do, i have to admit it. but i think, for once, im gunna do this for myself, to really feel good for a change, and not feel like the fat girl in a group.


ya, i've usually gotten every guy ive pretty much gone after, so that says something, and they've usually been really fuckin hot too. i dunno.


i even got hit on by this really hot guy tonight, and it made me feel really good, but of course, as always, he was just staring at my tits, go figure. and i was wearing a t-shirt for work, so its not like it was flattering or anything.
i'm just glad i have a gorgeous, loving boyfriend who loves me for who i am, and dated me way back in the day when i think i was way uglier haha. i dont think i could get along without him anymore. i hope he keeps with me, cause i dont wanna lose him.


blah, i need to stop babbling. its just cause im tired, and i have lots of things running through my mind.
if only i was one of those skinny girls....blah, fuck it, im done haha im going to go back to bed.