A week er three ago I was leaving to go home and said my usual thing to whoever happened to be in chat at the time. It's usually something like "Have fun everyone. Enjoy your time in chat as if it's the last night you'll ever have to be here. You never know, you could die tomorrow. In fact you probably will. If you do, as long as you do everything here tonight that you want to do, you can die happy." elementalchick asked me why it is that every time I leave I always say that.
Some time ago I didn't really do anything but work. Like, I didn't have any serious objectives but my work. I'd wake up, go to work, go home, have a few drinks and spend like an hour er two in chat (it was IRC at the time, SG didn't exist) and go to sleep. I didn't really have anything else going on. Me and my friends would go out to the desert to ride dirt bikes, that's about it. I certainly didn't have all of the obligations to all the people mooching off me that I have now. The closest thing was that I lived in my sister's laundry room paying her a paltry $400 a month.
As a result I had a shit-ton more money with nothing to spend it on. One of the ways I loved spending money was at the strip club. Quite often there'd be these girls who'd show up with AMAZING features. Huge boobs, tiny boobs, perfect boobs, pregnant boobs, great ass, enormous ass, whatever. Always something to make them unique and notewrothy. A few of them really stand out in my mind. A lot of times I'd want to get a dance but just be like "eh, no rush. I'm sure they'll be there tomorrow.
Usually they wouldn't be there when I'd come back. It was always extremely depressing. I'd look around at all the other girls there and think about how inadequate they are compared to this recently departed goddess. Eventually it'd be years later and I'd still think the exact same thing. The other day I was like "fuck man, I can't believe I only got so few dances from Lexie (why all strippers are named Lexie or Alexis I have no idea,) this girl with an ass that was just like this. Of course I can say the same thing for countless girls that I wish I'd gotten dances from but never did.
In fact when I think back on my life I think of all of the decisions I made, it wasn't until recently that I've ever felt that I made bad choices and should have just shut up and stayed sitting down. Hundreds if not thousands of choices I made over the years were to sit down and do nothing. Sit down and stay quiet when there was something that could have been said. Never in all them years of going to strip clubs did I ever regret making a rash call. Anything from asking a girl for her number to grabbing her butt. But countless times I always regretted doing nothing.
Far too often I'd put off getting that dance, asking the girl for her number, or doing something rash. The next time I'd come in, the girl was gone. It really helped to bash the concept into me that you really only have one chance to live the moment you want to live. Occasionally you'll get to duplicate it, but the moment you're interested in you've really only got one shot at it and have to jump on it when it comes.
Eventually I just said "oh screw this" and figured I wouldn't hold back anymore. If there was something I wanted to do I'd just do it. It worked out smashingly. Eventually I started applying that methodology to every aspect of my life. If someone didn't like something I did, fuck them. Who cares what their opinion was? I mean it's something I wanted to do. It was me. Who I was. If they don't like me the way that I am, why would I try and put of a facade for them and deceive them into thinking I'm something different, only to let them down eventually once they see who I really am and that there's an incompatibility in our personalities? Kindo pointless I thought.
The end result of that was finding people who actually did like the kooky wild behavior that I did. Maybe not so much the grabbing strippers' butts, but in pretty much every other aspect of my life I made sure that I actually did live the life that I said I did. Where every single day was the last day I was going to be alive. My thinking was "if you don't do it today it will never happen. If you live again tomorrow, yesterday was the most epic day of your life. All you have to do is do the same thing you did yesterday and today will be the most epic day of your life too. Eventually your entire life will be epic. And if not, if you die, that's ok. You can die happy knowing that yesterday was the most epic day of your life."
Some time ago I didn't really do anything but work. Like, I didn't have any serious objectives but my work. I'd wake up, go to work, go home, have a few drinks and spend like an hour er two in chat (it was IRC at the time, SG didn't exist) and go to sleep. I didn't really have anything else going on. Me and my friends would go out to the desert to ride dirt bikes, that's about it. I certainly didn't have all of the obligations to all the people mooching off me that I have now. The closest thing was that I lived in my sister's laundry room paying her a paltry $400 a month.
As a result I had a shit-ton more money with nothing to spend it on. One of the ways I loved spending money was at the strip club. Quite often there'd be these girls who'd show up with AMAZING features. Huge boobs, tiny boobs, perfect boobs, pregnant boobs, great ass, enormous ass, whatever. Always something to make them unique and notewrothy. A few of them really stand out in my mind. A lot of times I'd want to get a dance but just be like "eh, no rush. I'm sure they'll be there tomorrow.
Usually they wouldn't be there when I'd come back. It was always extremely depressing. I'd look around at all the other girls there and think about how inadequate they are compared to this recently departed goddess. Eventually it'd be years later and I'd still think the exact same thing. The other day I was like "fuck man, I can't believe I only got so few dances from Lexie (why all strippers are named Lexie or Alexis I have no idea,) this girl with an ass that was just like this. Of course I can say the same thing for countless girls that I wish I'd gotten dances from but never did.
In fact when I think back on my life I think of all of the decisions I made, it wasn't until recently that I've ever felt that I made bad choices and should have just shut up and stayed sitting down. Hundreds if not thousands of choices I made over the years were to sit down and do nothing. Sit down and stay quiet when there was something that could have been said. Never in all them years of going to strip clubs did I ever regret making a rash call. Anything from asking a girl for her number to grabbing her butt. But countless times I always regretted doing nothing.
Far too often I'd put off getting that dance, asking the girl for her number, or doing something rash. The next time I'd come in, the girl was gone. It really helped to bash the concept into me that you really only have one chance to live the moment you want to live. Occasionally you'll get to duplicate it, but the moment you're interested in you've really only got one shot at it and have to jump on it when it comes.
Eventually I just said "oh screw this" and figured I wouldn't hold back anymore. If there was something I wanted to do I'd just do it. It worked out smashingly. Eventually I started applying that methodology to every aspect of my life. If someone didn't like something I did, fuck them. Who cares what their opinion was? I mean it's something I wanted to do. It was me. Who I was. If they don't like me the way that I am, why would I try and put of a facade for them and deceive them into thinking I'm something different, only to let them down eventually once they see who I really am and that there's an incompatibility in our personalities? Kindo pointless I thought.
The end result of that was finding people who actually did like the kooky wild behavior that I did. Maybe not so much the grabbing strippers' butts, but in pretty much every other aspect of my life I made sure that I actually did live the life that I said I did. Where every single day was the last day I was going to be alive. My thinking was "if you don't do it today it will never happen. If you live again tomorrow, yesterday was the most epic day of your life. All you have to do is do the same thing you did yesterday and today will be the most epic day of your life too. Eventually your entire life will be epic. And if not, if you die, that's ok. You can die happy knowing that yesterday was the most epic day of your life."
VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
greggster:
this goes for your testimonaial and this blog
kylepus:
<3